Expectations

I've always been told to set high expectations. Whether it be for myself or my students, I should set the bar high. However, recently I've been wondering where these expectations come from. Who says that a particular expectation is high enough or if it falls short? I suppose in the classroom, there are regulations set by the state (yes, the infamous Iowa Core Curriculum). But even then, the expectations are really in the hands of the teacher. Each teacher has a different "feel" for his or her classroom, and students quickly realize what is going to be expected of them.

On the contrary, our personal lives are much more liberal when it comes to expectations. Society generally dictates what, when, and how things should look in our lives. There is a constant struggle between fitting the mold and becoming an individual. We strive to fit in, no matter where we are in life. People act like cliques are reserved for junior high and high school when the truth is that they last our entire life. I'm expected to look professional at school. Even if I believed that mohawks were really cool, I couldn't take a razor to my hair the day before classes. Why? Because it's inappropriate. Says who? Well... almost everyone. But in all seriousness, these expectations are set at a specific level, and we conform.

Now, do I think expectations are bogus? Absolutely not. I think they are realistic, and without them, we would have chaos. Once again, it's all about balance and finding what's right for you.

P.S. I kind of feel like my writing and ideas are all over the place on this post. Sorry if this makes sense to only me :-)

It's Always Beautiful

July is one of my favorite times in Iowa. Aside from the hot and humid weather, it's the peak growth season for the crops. The deep green corn accents the clear blue sky that is delicately polished with puffy white clouds. It reminds me of how beautiful life can be, even in a slow-paced and seemingly boring place like Iowa.

I live in a small town. Sometimes I wake up and wonder what I'm doing. Yesterday I was spending time with my brother and he made the comment that he couldn't believe I was living in such a small town. At first I wanted to question myself, and Mike must have sensed that because he quickly added that it was a great move for me. Why? Because I will no longer be commuting making it easier to connect with the community in which I teach. It's still summer, and it's hard for me to really see that, but once fall hits, I know it will be great.

As for now, I would like to really focus on the beauty of life right in front of me.

Be Where You Are

I have a tendency to compare myself to others. There are benchmarks that I believe I should meet at certain times, and if I don't master them at a certain time, I beat myself up. I realize that many people do this, and I'm starting to wonder why. Who set these benchmarks? Why do we feel the need to be at the same level as those around us?

Recently, I had a close friend tell me that I'm too hard on myself. I always thought I had pretty good self-esteem. I've listened to others put themselves down, watched them hurt themselves, but I never placed myself in the same category. I silently judged and placed them in the "broken" category. It wasn't until recently that I realized that everyone, in one way or another, belong in that category. We are all imperfect. Could I have been that insecure person all this time? If not, when did I lose that confidence?

How can we truly be happy if we are comparing ourselves to everyone else. Theodore Roosevelt said, "Comparison is a thief of joy." Placing ourselves in this comparison trap strips us of the greatness of each day. That person that seems to "have it all" is not perfect. None of us are. But we all deserve happiness each day.

I Choose

I went to my classroom this morning to start organizing and preparing for the year. I was the only teacher there that I could tell. I may be jumping the gun a little, but I was feeling anxious to start putting my stamp on my classroom. I left feeling accomplished but also realizing that there is still quite a bit to do. With that said, I have a little over a month before school starts, so I've got time.

When I got back to my place, I was a little confused at how to spend my afternoon. Nap, lay around, walk around my apartment over and over? I knew that none of those things would make me feel productive. I needed to get out. I chose to hit up a cute little coffee shop in a nearby town. I'm kind of at a stand still when it comes to my school work, but it was necessary to get out. A good choice on my part.

Choices. I have been meditating on this a lot lately. I read a devotion by Max Lucado based on what we choose each day. Do we choose love or hate? Kindness or selfishness? Self-control or impulsive behavior? I started thinking about dark times in my life. How much of those times could have been changed if I would have made other choices? I realize that it's silly to dwell on the past, but sometimes that's where my mind takes me. I thought back to bad days. Could I have changed those days if I would have had a different attitude. The answer is yes. We choose how we respond to the events of the day. We choose as soon as we wake up. Each morning we have a choice to make. How will you spend your days?

Where You Belong

What does it mean to be home? Just last week I was moving to a new location, preparing to make a new space my home. It didn't take long before my things were placed neatly throughout my new apartment. While there are quite a few things I still would like to do, each day I feel a little bit more comfortable calling this place my home.

Recently, tornados made their way through communities in the midwest. I was watching the news as they interviewed tornado victims. Many of their homes were a total loss while various items were thrown about the area. Tears were shed, but they made the point that what really mattered in life was more than the things that made up their homes. It got me thinking about what makes a home a home.

I thought about all of the places I've lived throughout my life. For the most part, my parent's house in my hometown was always where I called home. I lived in dorms and apartments throughout college, then moved into my own apartments as I started teaching. I have always liked decorating and creating looks that are functional and cute. As I grow older, I find myself enjoying the comforts of home even more. I like the cleanliness and comfort of having my own space, but I think home is more than having a bedroom set and your own kitchen appliances from Pampered Chef.

Home is a combination of feelings. Home is lounging in an oversized sweatshirt and watching football on a cool Saturday morning. Home is a long shower after a sweaty run. Home is the smell of spicy chili in the crock-pot as you walk in after a long day. Home is eight hours of sleep in a cozy bed. Home is the feeling of safety and comfort. Home is wherever you make it. Home is where you belong.

Instant and Gradual Changes

I am moving this weekend, so the past few days have been full of packing, cleaning, and tying up loose ends. I can honestly say that I'm not at all sad about this. I don't feel nostalgic or emotional. I guess you could say that I've been ready for a while now. After all, the future is exciting :-)

Moving is not fun. There are almost always unanticipated expenses, and the actual labor of moving is annoying. I've been doing my best to not freak out or become overwhelmed. I have been taking it all one day at time. However, I have found myself walking around my apartment over and over again, searching for something to do. I'm just ready to go. 

In between my hot laps, I have been doing plenty of reading and writing. I read a blog post by Donalyn Miller, teacher and author of The Book Whisperer. She wrote in response to attending a high school graduation: "No matter how much we influence these golden children, we have moved into the past now. Just a few paragraphs in their stories. Chapter One." Isn't it crazy to think that we can just drift into someone else's past? Some of my students I will never see again. To them, I am their high school English teacher -- the past. We all have moved into a different part of life.

Sometimes changes in life are more definite; they can happen in an istant. You get a new job. You move to a new community. Someone in your life leaves. It's black and white. That last day at school is just that -- the last. Other times, changes are gradual. You drift apart from a friend. You grow closer to another. Then one day you realize that things have changed. 

People come in and out of our lives. The influence we have on one another varies, but it is all significant. 

The Power of Variety

I think it's pretty safe to say that many of us find ourselves in a rut. The mundane routines prevent us from fully experiences things in life. Seeking a bit of variety can really make a difference.

I realize that there are some things we can't avoid. Yes, we have to work, buy annoying items like toilet paper and body wash, and even make appearances at not-so-fun social events. Life isn't about being excited all of the time. There are peaks and valleys, all of which keep us in check.

But, what if we added variety to those things we do have control over. Rearrange your furniture, take a new route to work, or try a new salad for dinner. I really started thinking about this as I went for a morning jog. It was amazing. My body was rested and in-stride just as it should be. I felt healthy as I dripped with sweat through the morning fog and humidity. I couldn't help but wonder, "Why am I running so well?" I truly believe it was because I have been adding a lot of variety to my workouts. I've been practicing yoga, doing new circuit workouts, and riding my bike. Now I love running, but it started to become a struggle. My body was tired of it, and it was making me feel pretty down. Running has always been something I can turn to when I feel blah. Just like many parts of life, I needed to change it up. My body needed something different.

I love this thought. Why do we have an entire box of crayons if we only use a handful? The power of variety is in our own hands. I'm challenging you, and myself, to find use of those other crayons today.