It's Me Time

I'm not a mother. I don't know what it's like to have a child of my own; however, I do know what it's like to constantly put other's needs in front of my own. I use this example because there are times when other mothers assume things about me. For instance, some assume I'm not busy. Others believe that I'm missing out. Others don't assume anything at all. It's always been something that irritates me. I'm not broken because I don't have children. It just hasn't been my time yet.

Recently, I've been trying something new; I've been putting my own needs before others. I may seem selfish, but the fact is, I can. I am a single woman trying to figure things out. The only way I can do that is to try things, mess up, learn, and move on. These opportunities that have been presenting themselves to me will not last forever. They may lead me down the wrong path, but the cool thing is, they may lead me right where I need to be. Life is crazy like that.

It's funny because I never thought I would be an independent woman. It's not that I thought I was weak, but I've always had someone looking after me. Don't get me wrong, I needed that at the time, but at some point in the past few years, I found myself figuring out quite a bit by myself. I've failed...a lot, but I own all of those failures.

After graduating college, I envisioned myself settling down and starting a family. For many reasons, that just didn't happen. A relationship fell apart, I went back to college to pursue college, and I moved around to find my fit. Some day, I want to be a mother, and I pray that it will happen. Until then, I am learning to enjoy the opportunities and people that God is giving me. I'm learning to do things for myself and enjoy my independence.

Last weekend, I went out with some friends back in my college town. It's always bittersweet. I miss it, but I also realize that those memories, people, and experiences will forever be in my heart.