On Being Real

We often hear others talk about people being “fake.” Whether it is in someone’s appearance (The Real Housewives, cough, cough) or personality, it’s not a desired trait. We don’t like being lied to, and in many ways, this is exactly what happens when a person is acting “fake.” We aren’t getting their true self, and that is disappointing. But why do people feel the need to act this way? Why can’t we all feel comfortable enough to act as our true selves?

Perhaps as we get older, this becomes easier; we become more aware of ourselves and comfortable in our own skin. Being a high school teacher, I see a lot of insecurities and actions that could be considered “fake.” While I would love to see these behaviors go to the wayside, I realize how fragile self-image is for teenagers. I remember feeling self-conscious, desiring to fit in. And the truth is, sometimes I feel myself falling back into these habits.

In my first teaching job, I received a compliment from my principal that I will never forget. He told me that the kids (and other teachers) responded to me because I am honest. I had never really thought about it before, but I realized that he was probably right. I don’t hide things from people. What you see is what you get. I would like to think that my students would say that I am “real.” I share stories about my life (not too personal, of course) and listen when they do the same. I admit when I’m wrong. If I write a terrible essay question, I own it, change grades if necessary, and we move on. I don’t pretend to know all the answers because, quite frankly, I don’t know all the answers (hard to believe, right?!). Honesty, being “real,” is one of my strengths, and I’m glad that someone pointed that out to me.

Obviously, I’m not sharing this with you to gloat, but rather to encourage a few thoughts. First, to think about the importance of being “real” and how you respond to those that are. Second, what are you good at? I know I can be really hard on myself, and I don’t spend enough time praising myself for things I do well. Think of a time when someone complimented you, and accept it. Rather than discarding the comment, embrace your talents. I’m going to be “real” with you for a minute – I want you to love yourself today.