A Change of Thoughts... Well, Kinda

The other day I started brainstorming ideas for a post I wanted to title "Learning While Waiting." I was going to outline all of the things I've learned while being single and watching what seems like everyone settle down with a significant other. My ideas came after reading an article from Relevant Magazine, and to be honest, it's a hurt that I carry with me each day. You may be wondering what a single gal like myself has been "learning," right? The biggest two: how to financially stand on my own and the importance of being in a healthy relationship (I've witnessed and participated in both healthy and unhealthy ones).

After hearing an amazing motivational speaker, Jeff Yalden, at school today, I realized that making a list about "waiting" is counterproductive. By doing so, I'm telling myself that what is going on in my life right now doesn't matter. It's saying that my purpose right now will never be enough until I'm no longer single. As I write this, I realize how silly stupid this sounds. Today I realized that I'm not "waiting." You see, there is no such thing because life is happening right now. My purpose is right now, and what I am doing in my life right now matters. I don't need to wait for anything. My life is happening right now.

He also spoke about the comparisons that we make each day. Social media does not help at all with the comparison trap. We see "perfect" moments from our "friends" played out through pictures, status updates, and clever words. Why am I not going on beach vacations, dating a dude with abs, or posing a gorgeous 2 month old by a huge teddy bear (I find this one a little disturbing)? Well, newsflash: Our self-worth is not measured by those "perfect" moments we see on Instagram. Our self-worth comes from inside. It comes from a place that for many is hard to find. I have always been a people-pleaser. I want everyone to be happy, placing the needs of others before my own. Is my sister doing alright? Are my students comprehending the material? In college, I really struggled with self-worth. I found myself walking on eggshells as I pretending that everything was okay. It takes time to feel comfortable in our own skin, to finally step back and say, "I'm pretty amazing... inside and out." And the hardest part is that no one can do this for us. Not a spouse, best friend, or parent. Nope, this is something each of us needs to find individually. How do we expect others to love us if we don't love ourselves?