A Lesson in Contentment

The end of last week was a little chaotic. I had family staying at my place for different reasons. While it was a little unexpected, I was able to spend time with my mom and brother, watch football until I was blue in the face, and enjoy a few belly laughs. Since I’ve lived alone for so long, I forget how comforting it can be to have people around.

With all of that said, by the time Sunday afternoon rolled around, feelings of discomfort began to set in. For some reason, I was feeling uncomfortable and unsettled. I drove home after church and shopping with a pounding headache. I started wishing I had an extra day in the weekend. I was sure I had a lot to do in order to get prepared for the week, but I was not in any mood to work at school or do a yoga sequence. I simply wanted to lie on the couch and feel sorry for myself. Why was in such a mood? This discontent rolled on throughout the day until I slid into bed with a book in hand.

This morning, I tried to wrap my head around those feelings of discomfort. I went for a run on the treadmill, which always helps to clear my mind. I came to school in a fairly good mood, but that “spark” just hasn’t been there today. As I sat at my computer, I was reminded of a quote from Rick Warren, “God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than he is making your life happy.”

I’m looking for comfort when maybe God is trying to stretch me; He’s trying to help me build character. Many times it’s hard to understand what God is doing… what He’s planning. Right now, it’s all pretty unclear, but I keep trusting. When things get difficult, I turn to Him for answers. And when those answers don’t come, I must learn to wait… patiently.

Limitless

My sister and I used to always talk about how we loved the phrase, "Be fearless." It's such a strong statement that allows us to dream. There is no reason to fear; we should simply live each day as it comes and embrace all it's wonder.

I was reading an article titled "Why the 'Future' is the New Swear Word for College Students" on Thought Catalog. The author discussed our culture's need to be constantly planning for the future. I see this a lot with my students (especially seniors). They have people coming at them from all angles telling them they need to apply for scholarships, start deciding on a college, and once in college, they must determine a major. It's a lot for anyone to take in, especially someone who is barely an "adult."

Why do we feel the need to plan? Why do we feel that there are time limits on when things are supposed to happen? I'm sure much of this comes from our need to fit in and the constant comparisons we make with those around us. It's easy to say that we don't care about what others think, but this simply isn't true.

What do we do when things don't go as we planned? I know I start to feel defeated. I lose sight of my purpose. Quite frankly, I throw myself a pity party and invite everyone around me. (You're welcome.) But what if I decided to take a different approach? As mentioned in the article, the future is limitless. We can dream and wonder. We can stand and face the future fearlessly, knowing that the possibilities are endless. The future doesn't have to be scary. In fact, it's anything but... it's limitless.

Thoughts That Become Words

Isn't if funny how quickly we forget? The days go by, and we forget important aspects that steer us from the happiness that we all deserve. This time change has really got me confused. I realize that I actually have gained an hour of sleep, but for some reason I'm waking up long before my alarm, leaving me sleepy and a tad bit crabby by the end of the day.

This morning I started thinking about the choices we make each day. Not just in our actions, but in our thoughts. It's so difficult, nearly impossible, to change our thoughts. Our mind wanders to places we don't want to visit. We think about the past and fret about the future. We create scenarios in our minds, most of which will never take place.

Cue self-discipline exercises. Is it possible to shift our thoughts to a "happy place?" The answer is yes, but it takes work. We must make a point to bathe in positivity rather than negative thoughts. Not only does this make our days much more enjoyable, but it makes us kinder people. You see, our thoughts become our words. Because I am a person that wrestles with self-worth, those negative thoughts become the words that I speak to myself. It's much easier for me to give someone else a compliment, as opposed to myself. I know that I'm not alone on that one. In Proverbs 18:21 it reads, "Those who love to talk will experience the consequences, for the tongue can kill or nourish life." The tongue, our words, make all the difference. We have a choice as to how we think, talk to ourselves, and talk to others. I don't know about you, but I choose happy thoughts.

Remember the Why

Mondays can be tough. You're coming off a weekend when you made your own schedule. Maybe you laid in bed and watched four Lifetime movies on Sunday (not that I've ever done that). Maybe you spent your Saturday tracking the spread of NCAA football in order to place bets with your buddies. Whatever you did this past weekend, it was your choice. But, as we all know, the weekends are short; Mondays tend to sneak up on us.

Yesterday I started thinking about the upcoming week. For some reason, I started to get excited. While it should be a pretty typical week, I just felt happy about the promise of starting fresh. The possibilities and opportunities that are in store for me -- for you -- are unknown, but endless.

Maybe my positive attitude this morning is making you want to vomit? I don't blame you. If this is the case, it may be time to remember why you started. Whatever you are about to embrace this week, remember what led you up to this point. Why did you decide to embark on this particular journey? Sometimes when I am frustrated at school, I think back to why I decided to go back to become a teacher. I remember why I was called to teach -- to allow teenagers in my classroom to share their stories. While they may not always be super excited about writing a piece of fiction or reading Edgar Allan Poe, I can encourage them to be their best selves. Each day is a new start for them, me, and you. If it's hard to get out of bed today, remember the why.

The Wind Beneath My Wings

Today is my mom's birthday! While I'm not (physically) with her today, I am throwing confetti around (figuratively) in her honor :-)

One of my favorite memories with my mom happened when I was a little girl. Her and I were sitting on the couch watching Beaches with Bette Midler. If you've ever seen the film, you know there is a point when "Wind Beneath My Wings" comes on and the waterworks begin to fall. It's truly inevitable. My mom told me that she looked over at my four-year-old self, and I was crying. She has since made the remark that she didn't realize a little girl could cry like that while watching a movie. That song, that movie belong to my mom and me.

The lyrics of that song speak much to the relationship between a mother and her daughter. Because my mom has lived longer than me, she walks a step behind as I make and learn from various mistakes. She knows just when to step in and say, "Be patient. God's got this, Anna." As we've aged, our relationship has sailed to a new level. We have our fair share of "teacher talk," and she is my accountability buddy in my faith. She is my friend. She carries my siblings and me throughout our lives, celebrating our victories and comforting our struggles. My mom is the wind beneath my wings. I love you, Mom!

Six Word Memoirs

I've been feeling kind of bummed about my lack of writing. It hasn't been because I'm too busy (man, that phrase drives me mad). It hasn't been because I've been uninspired. Maybe the problem has been I have been over-inspired -- too many ideas floating around in my brain. I suppose that is a good problem to have.

After school today, I went for a short run, savoring the last moments of nice weather. We have our regionals volleyball game tonight, so I showered up and sat down with my dinner and laptop. Because my school is on block scheduling, I had a fresh group of kids in my Creative Writing class. It's kind of cool because I will teach the course four times by the end of the year. That allows for a few more times of trial and error (but hopefully more of trial and success). I like to start the course with Six Word Memoirs. Ernest Hemingway was once challenged to write a story in just six words. He came up with: "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." Pretty powerful for just six words, and the interpretation is endless -- one of my favorite aspects of literature.

As the kids began to work, I started thinking more about my own Six Word Memoir. Before when I had taught this unit, I came up with "Eric Church, will you marry me?" Obviously, this was a little bit more of a joke (But seriously, I would marry him in a heartbeat), so I started thinking a little more deeply. "One step behind, and that's okay." Ever since I decided to go back to school to become a teacher, I've felt like things in my life have been "pushed back." The picture in my head has changed time and time again. According to my friends on Facebook and others in society (especially the midwest), I may be a little behind. As I get older and more comfortable with where I am at, I realize that it's okay. I'm not the right track for me. The steps I'm taking are forward, and I'm learning along the way.

I'm excited to read the words of my students. As they worked and I walked around talking to them, I couldn't help but think about how lucky I am to have such an incredible profession.

Sharing My Passions

In my Creative Writing class, we began studying poetry last week. At first, I was cringing this unit. Teenagers don't exactly jump up and down at the opportunity to read and/or write poems. As I started preparing, I promised myself I would make it as exciting painless as possible. Overall, I think it's gone pretty well. Tomorrow, we will begin talking about political and society based poems. Because I love history, I'm looking forward to hearing their responses to the literature. 

As I'm prepping my lesson tonight, I started reading about women's suffrage and war memorials (riveting material, I know). I started thinking about the things I feel passionate about. No, I'm not talking about my friends and family. I'm talking about worldly issues that I take to heart. I thought I would share some of my passions: 

-- Education: I suppose this is a given since I am a teacher, but it's much more than that. Yes, my career is centered around teaching students, and I do care about their grades; however, I care much more about the people they are becoming. To me, education is not just about the earned grade. It's about teaching students to become productive members of society. It's about them creating lives that are rich and full of continued learning. 

-- Women's Rights: You may not know it, but I deeply considered a minor in Women's Studies. I loved each class I took and felt empowered and passionate about equality for everyone. I'll never forget when one of my favorite professors said, "We're more alike than we are different." I hold onto that as I embrace opportunities and meet new people. 

-- Children of Haiti: After traveling to Haiti and working with the children there, I fell in love. The spirit of the people there was encouraging and contagious. They don't have much, but they care and love one another. Things aren't perfect there. Much of the people suffer from poverty and disease. Children are living in huts with very little to eat or drink. They walk miles in order to receive an education. After studying, they return home to work for their families. I met some incredible people there. I didn't speak the same language as them, but there is one language that we all speak: love.