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Setting Goals (And Keeping Them)

I just completed my long run for the week. Woohoo!! It was a bit windy and much hillier than I anticipated, but I did it! Currently, I am training for a half marathon at the end of May. I've trained for races before, but for some reason, I am more focused this time around. My current running mantra: "If it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you." (No, I didn't come up with that on my own.) Basically, I want to run better than I have before; I want to prove to myself that I can change by way of new challenges.

In order to be a good runner, it's important to fuel your body. Which means, I've cut out processed foods and been focusing on eating clean. I haven't always had a very good relationship with food, and I am learning to be gentle with myself. I make mistakes, but I'm trying much harder than I have before, and I'm feeling much better -- both physically and mentally. The way I've been holding myself accountable is by way of a challenge group on Facebook. Basically, we just report to the group what we eat each day, along with water intake and exercise. While my focus does seem greater, it's good to have a group that offers support. The idea of intuitive eating and putting real foods in my body that will fuel me has really been the driving force for me during this challenge.

As a high school teacher, we discuss goal setting quite a bit. The dreadful question "Where do you see yourself in five years?" seems to pop up in this process. While it is a good idea to think this through, I've learned that I can't make those decisions for someone else. I can nag, nag, nag, but if a student doesn't have the drive to achieve certain goals, that's his or her decision. Until someone really wants to set goals and make a change, it won't happen until that person is ready. I have a good friend that recently lost a significant amount of weight. I asked her what made her decide to make a change. There was a specific moment when she realized that she could no longer live with the extra weight; she decided to make a change. She set out on a challenge, and she continues to grow and change. What a great feeling!

Lastly, as a runner, it's hard not to get discouraged at times. For me, I'm not terribly fast. I wasn't born a runner, so it is a little bit more challenging compared to others. But the fact is, it's not about others. My race is just that: mine. Each time I go out, I am thankful for the ability to run. I try to soak in the scenery and enjoy the fact that my legs are able to move. Running is one of the aspects of my life that makes me feel normal. I'm proud to be a part of the running family and plan on continuing to push myself. When I want to quit, I thank God for the gift of running.

Reasons Our Plans Don't Work Out

It's frustrating when the plans in our head don't turn out the way we planned. These disruptions can even leave us anxious. Over the past few years, I've come to realize that the twenties are full of disrupted plans. As we graduate from college and begin to make our mark on the world, we have ideas about being successful, having a disposable income, and a thriving social life. What we don't think about are all of the trials that we are about to embrace. 

One of the reasons our plans don't work out is because we don't plan for trials. Upon my college graduation, I didn't think about financial issues, struggles finding the right career, or breakups with boyfriends. Those things simply weren't a part of my plan for obvious reasons. I'm not suggesting that we include adversities in our life plans, but I do think we need to be realistic when things pop up. Not only do we need to learn to be okay with them, we need to be thankful for them. There are reasons our plans are disrupted, mainly because it's not about our plan; it's about God's plan. Especially as we live out this Passion Week in the Christian church, we are reminded that God has the final say. Simply put, His plans are greater than ours. 

Just this morning, my devotional (Jesus Calling) read, "Thank me for troublesome situations; the peace they can produce far outweighs the trials you endure." These words couldn't be more true. Finding peace during the storms grows up closer to God, which as Christians, is our ultimate goal. 

Letting Go

Letting go means that things are changing. Whether it means that you’ve lost someone close to you or that you’re moving on from a familiar place, aspects of your life will never be the same. Recently, my parents moved from my childhood home to a new town. Every once in a while, I get a little emotional about not revisiting the only place I will ever call my hometown. Logically, it made sense for them to move. I know this, and I truly am excited for them; however, emotionally, I hold onto old memories pretty tightly. While I don’t believe I should let go of them (well, maybe a few), it may be time to loosen up my grip.

Another aspect of my life that needs a little lotta bit of loosening, is surrendering my issues to God. I read the other day, “When you let go, something magical happens. You give room for God to work.” God doesn’t want us to do more for Him; He wants more of us. He desires for us to let go of our worries so that He can take care of them. We all have those few things that eat at us – those constant worries that we can’t shake. What would happen if we let go of them? Why are we even holding on to them? Part of my wonders if I enjoy the worry because if I didn’t have it then I would have any reason to throw myself a pity party every once in a while. I hold on to those same worries. Yes, there are others that seep into my mind, but those big worries that constantly haunt me, I never let go of them. Today is the day to let them go.

God, take these obnoxious worries and shield me with your grace. I want to live in peace while trusting Your plan is working better than any one I could ever dream of.

Let. Go.

On Being Real

We often hear others talk about people being “fake.” Whether it is in someone’s appearance (The Real Housewives, cough, cough) or personality, it’s not a desired trait. We don’t like being lied to, and in many ways, this is exactly what happens when a person is acting “fake.” We aren’t getting their true self, and that is disappointing. But why do people feel the need to act this way? Why can’t we all feel comfortable enough to act as our true selves?

Perhaps as we get older, this becomes easier; we become more aware of ourselves and comfortable in our own skin. Being a high school teacher, I see a lot of insecurities and actions that could be considered “fake.” While I would love to see these behaviors go to the wayside, I realize how fragile self-image is for teenagers. I remember feeling self-conscious, desiring to fit in. And the truth is, sometimes I feel myself falling back into these habits.

In my first teaching job, I received a compliment from my principal that I will never forget. He told me that the kids (and other teachers) responded to me because I am honest. I had never really thought about it before, but I realized that he was probably right. I don’t hide things from people. What you see is what you get. I would like to think that my students would say that I am “real.” I share stories about my life (not too personal, of course) and listen when they do the same. I admit when I’m wrong. If I write a terrible essay question, I own it, change grades if necessary, and we move on. I don’t pretend to know all the answers because, quite frankly, I don’t know all the answers (hard to believe, right?!). Honesty, being “real,” is one of my strengths, and I’m glad that someone pointed that out to me.

Obviously, I’m not sharing this with you to gloat, but rather to encourage a few thoughts. First, to think about the importance of being “real” and how you respond to those that are. Second, what are you good at? I know I can be really hard on myself, and I don’t spend enough time praising myself for things I do well. Think of a time when someone complimented you, and accept it. Rather than discarding the comment, embrace your talents. I’m going to be “real” with you for a minute – I want you to love yourself today.

A Change of Thoughts... Well, Kinda

The other day I started brainstorming ideas for a post I wanted to title "Learning While Waiting." I was going to outline all of the things I've learned while being single and watching what seems like everyone settle down with a significant other. My ideas came after reading an article from Relevant Magazine, and to be honest, it's a hurt that I carry with me each day. You may be wondering what a single gal like myself has been "learning," right? The biggest two: how to financially stand on my own and the importance of being in a healthy relationship (I've witnessed and participated in both healthy and unhealthy ones).

After hearing an amazing motivational speaker, Jeff Yalden, at school today, I realized that making a list about "waiting" is counterproductive. By doing so, I'm telling myself that what is going on in my life right now doesn't matter. It's saying that my purpose right now will never be enough until I'm no longer single. As I write this, I realize how silly stupid this sounds. Today I realized that I'm not "waiting." You see, there is no such thing because life is happening right now. My purpose is right now, and what I am doing in my life right now matters. I don't need to wait for anything. My life is happening right now.

He also spoke about the comparisons that we make each day. Social media does not help at all with the comparison trap. We see "perfect" moments from our "friends" played out through pictures, status updates, and clever words. Why am I not going on beach vacations, dating a dude with abs, or posing a gorgeous 2 month old by a huge teddy bear (I find this one a little disturbing)? Well, newsflash: Our self-worth is not measured by those "perfect" moments we see on Instagram. Our self-worth comes from inside. It comes from a place that for many is hard to find. I have always been a people-pleaser. I want everyone to be happy, placing the needs of others before my own. Is my sister doing alright? Are my students comprehending the material? In college, I really struggled with self-worth. I found myself walking on eggshells as I pretending that everything was okay. It takes time to feel comfortable in our own skin, to finally step back and say, "I'm pretty amazing... inside and out." And the hardest part is that no one can do this for us. Not a spouse, best friend, or parent. Nope, this is something each of us needs to find individually. How do we expect others to love us if we don't love ourselves?

Living Out the Ordinary

There are few days in our lives in which "big" events take place. High school graduation. Choosing a career and finding a job. Moving to a new area. Marriage. Children. And the list goes on... Tucked into those "big" events are a whole bunch of ordinary days. We wake up, go about our daily routines until it's time to rest again that night. Those ordinary days aren't necessarily bad, just regular, mundane, average.

Ordinary can be comfortable. Sometimes having a "normal" day is exactly what I need; however, other times these days grow tiresome. These days seem to be where I live in limbo. I don't know when the next "big" event will take place. I don't know what it will be, and the uncertainty leaves me anxious. And along with that, somewhere along the way, I have been told that ordinary is not enough. My seemingly mundane life is unexciting, and that is not okay... or is it?

These ordinary days are for waiting. Speaking of being anxious, waiting can be so uncomfortable. We want the answers, often becoming impatient and cranky. What can we do to make waiting in ordinary days bearable? Be thankful. It may sound stupid, hard, confusing, but it's really the only way to make each day positive. No, not every day is exciting, but that doesn't mean we can't find something to be thankful for. My lessons will not be super-engaging each day, but I can be thankful that my students seemed to understand the material (or that a fight didn't break out?). I may have gone to bed at 8 p.m., but I can be thankful for a good night's rest. There might not be big plans for the weekend, but I can be thankful for the gift of relaxation. We can live out the ordinary.