Where We Wait

I was driving home after church this morning when I started feeling anxious. Uncertainties in my life started bubbling up, leaving me with knots in my stomach. After talking to my mom, she suggested I write about it.

The fact is, I know I shouldn't worry. I know that it is all taken care of. I trust in Him; however, I am still human. I still wrestle with decisions and become anxious about the future. The only way I know how to deal with these feelings is to pray... and wait. I wait for an answer. I wait to know what is coming next. Instead of robbing myself of today, I place those problems in the hands of God.

What happens when the answer doesn't come when I think it should? I wait patiently because it's not about me. It's about God's great plan for me. Where does He need me to be in order to serve Him to my full potential?

I started thinking about this "wait time." Because the timing is in His hands, I need to wait for His lead. I can't the driver's seat of my life and expect it to all work out. I don't know what the future holds, but He does. In the meantime, how I spend my wait time is crucial. We can spend that time worrying and overanalyzing the past or future, or we can spend it in peace. We can surrender our problems and live joyfully. Where we wait makes all the difference in the world. Where we wait determines how we spend one of God's greatest gifts - the present.

"I will not fear the storm. Your help is on the way."

Waiting Past the Knots & Tangles

We are constantly being told to live in the moment. Today is all that we can handle, so why stress about the past or worry about the future. Personally, I do my best to live one day at a time. I pray to forgive past mistakes and patiently wait for what is to come; however, this is a daily battle. I am continually tripping and falling because I am human.

This week was very trying for me. There are a lot of uncertainties in my life that are causing stress (and yes, even a zit on my forehead). I have been losing sleep, eating horribly, and feeling down about myself. Enter self-loathing, and you've got a pretty fun person to be around. I guess I'm in one of those ruts that seems difficult to dig out of. My friends and family tell me it's probably the time of year, and who knows, they could be right. No matter where these feelings stem from, I need to figure out how to flip the switch and move forward.

Today I read a kind of cool analogy about life: 

"And remember, our lives our like tapestries, we may only be able to see the one side that looks like knots and tangles thread, but on the other side, each one of those knots and tangles are a part of a beautiful picture."

I have been frustrated because I only see what is going on right now. I focus too much on the knots and tangles of my past, while I should be patiently waiting for the beautiful picture in the end. 

Use Your People

Writing is a huge part of my curriculum. Not every student that comes into my classroom is going to be a great writer, but they will be writing frequently. Whether they like it or not, writing is an unavoidable tool that drives many aspects of our lives. 

One of the most challenging parts of teaching writing comes with peer editing. How do I effectively teach someone how to find errors, ask questions, and help peers strive to do their best? I don't necessarily have the answer to this, but I do know that we practice. Over and over, we will peer edit. Tedious? Yes. Important? Absolutely.

One of my key phrases for peer editing is "use your people." I tell students to find people that are going to help them. If I know that my sister is a grammar guru, then I will ask for her help with commas. If I know that my best friend is an excellent speller, then she becomes my personal spell checker. I want my students to recognize what people are going to help them become their best. 

This idea doesn't stop there. I believe it's a concept that can be taken outside of the classroom. If I have financial questions, I generally ask my dad. If I need someone to listen a personal issue, I call my friend that is a good listener. I choose my people. I use my people. 

 

The other night, I was having a conversation with someone. I found myself getting upset because she didn't seem to know much about the subject. I realized later that she wasn't the person I should have been talking to about the issue. I had chosen the wrong person. 

We don't have to have all the answers; however, we do need to know when it is time to reach out and use our people. 

A Real Teacher is Not Common

This morning I was reading some articles regarding the Common Core. For those of you who aren't educators, these standards have been set so that teachers and students have a consistent and clear understanding of what is taught in the classroom. The idea behind the Common Core seems to make sense - every student (basically) receives the same skills to grow into a productive member of society. In some ways, this is the gift that we give any child that steps into our classroom. The problem that many educators have with the Common Core is in the assessment. How do we know if the child has obtained the skills? Do the standardized tests really tell us what our students know? My answer (along with nearly every educator) is plain and simple: no.

I hear a lot of teachers talk about having to rush through lessons because they are a part of the Common Core. "I've got to get through this by Friday. I don't have time for a snow day!" We scramble and lose sight of what matters: our students. As we (and I'm just as guilty) rush through conjunctions in order to discuss semi-colons, are we really focusing on what knowledge is being obtained by our students? This rhetorical question has been bothering me for quite some time.

The fact is, some of the things our students really need to learn are not a part of the Common Core. Kindness, compassion, how to treat others. I don't see those listed under any standard, but don't we need those to be productive in society? Better yet, how do we teach those? We model them. We take time to listen to our students, even when we have a 46 minute lesson on personification to teach.

Don't forget what matters. Real teachers are all different. They all have something special to share. We are not in a profession of "common."

Promise to Change

My students are writing "This I Believe" essays. It's a basic essay designed to get them to think deeply and assess what they believe in. Last year, I wrote the essay along with the students. I think it's a good idea for me to work alongside them sometimes. Obviously,  I won't be writing the lengthy research paper at the end of the semester ;-)

While they were brainstorming, they were sharing quotes and ideas with me. It was kind of neat to hear their thoughts on life. One of them mentioned how they believe that happiness is a choice. While I completely agree with this, I began to wonder if I lived that way. Do I embrace each day? Do I choose to be happy? Do you?

An essential life lesson is that we have the power to change - not just our attitude, but many other aspects of life. We have the freedom to follow our dreams, change our lifestyles, and act a certain way. It's rather simple to say, but oftentimes difficult to do. Habits are formed that are seemingly impossible to break. We fail. It's scary to change, but we can.

Not only are we able to change, but we are worthy of it. We all deserve to make changes to better ourselves. No matter what the past has presented, the future is clear and new. We can take that promise and move forward. Know your worth. Know that you can change. Do it.

The Wonder of Wonder

Friendship and kindness. Two wonderful themes to base a Young Adult novel upon. I just completed Wonder by R.J. Palacino. It's an inspiring novel that I highly recommend to readers of all ages and abilities. In fact, I am considering reading it aloud to my 8th graders this semester. 

Wonder summary (from choosekind.tumbler.com): 

August Pullman was born with a facial deformity that, up until now, has prevented him from going to a mainstream school. Starting fifth grade at Beecher Prep, he wants nothing more than to be treated as an ordinary kid—but his new classmates can't get past Auggie's extraordinary face.WONDER by R. J. Palacio begins from Auggie's point of view, but soon switches to include that of his classmates, his sister, her boyfriend, and others. These perspectives converge in a portrait of one community's struggle with empathy, compassion, and acceptance. In a world where bullying among young people is an epidemic, this is a refreshing new narrative full of heart and hope. R. J. Palacio has called her debut novel "a meditation on kindness"—indeed, every reader will come away with a greater appreciation for the simple courage of friendship. Auggie is a hero to root for, a diamond in the rough who proves that you can’t blend in when you were born to stand out.

It was compelling from beginning to end. I didn't want to put it down, but I also wanted to savor the moments. I definitely have another book hangover after this one. I feel in love with Auggie. The support he received from his family was remarkable. It was a house full of love, which is something that too many kids today do not experience. There are a lot of hard times, but the theme of kindness weaved it's way through the story. It was easy to see how these seemingly small acts impacted not only Auggie, but everyone involved. "It's not enough to be friendly. You have to be a friend." 

After I completed the novel, I started looking into the book and author. I found that the book sparks a movement called "Choose Kind." You can even sign a pledge to 'choose kind.' It's funny how a novel can change the hearts and minds of so many people. Millions of people feel close to Auggie, just as I do. 

We are all beautiful. It's just our choice to see it. 

Why Words Matter

I love words. I love crafting them, reading them, and using them to change people's lives. I suppose this was the driving factor when I decided to become an English teacher. I believe in the power of words. I am passionate about helping others write and share their words. Everyone has a voice. I am here to listen.

I spend quite a lot of time grading papers. No, I am not complaining. I am simply stating a fact, and for the most part, I enjoy reading essays. It's rewarding to see the students improve. Challenging them to do their best and stretch themselves as writers is especially difficult but worth it in the end. Already with half of the year completed, I can see growth from all of them. The other day I was reading essays, and I was reminded how awesome my job really is. As I read, I learned about my students. Sometimes I am surprised at how much they are willing to share, but more than anything, I am humbled. They trust me enough to write about nearly anything. This is very therapeutic for them, and I am glad that they are able to use words as an outlet.

I love quotes, probably because they are made up of words. I put a quote on my board every week. It was one of those things that I figured went unnoticed until I got a little note from a student last year. I had the students write down reflections from the year. She shared that she really enjoyed the various quotes on the board -- some funny, others sentimental. I have made sure to continue the tradition this year. I was working in my room after school, and the janitor came in to take out the trash. He told me that he read my board every time he came into my room. We chatted a little bit, and I couldn't help but think as he left the room, "Words matter."

Think about what you say. Think about what you write. Words matter.