This Year's Promise

Happy New Year's Eve! We are about to complete yet another year. Along with the top ten lists and nostalgic conversations, we are granted the promise of the upcoming year. This is a time when people start changing their diets, sweating in the gym, going cold turkey on their heaters, and vowing to be kinder to others. While all of this looks good on paper, how many of us actually carry out these promises to ourselves? I'm just as guilty as the next person. I want the next year to be the "best one yet." I love the idea of a fresh start, a new beginning.

To be honest, I hadn't really thought about a New Year's resolution, but this morning I was reading online articles posted on Thought Catalog. It didn't take long, and I was captivated by an article titled "7 Thing I Learned From A Year Of Confidence." It was then that I realized that this year is going to be about loving myself. I need to promise to care about myself, feel confident, and know my importance.

In the article, the writer had a conversation with another confident woman. She told her, "I love myself, and know that I'm good. I'm a good person, I try hard, I learn from my mistakes No one can take that away from me." What an amazing gift she is giving herself on a daily basis.

Too often we put ourselves down. We forget our self-worth. How can we expect to love others when we are continually beating ourselves up for petty things? Instead, we must look at all of the wonderful attributes we all have. Everyone is positively contributing in some way or another.

This year, I will focus on loving myself. Self-care and self-love are underestimated and so very important.

Weekend Lessons

This weekend, I did quite a bit of traveling. I'm beginning to wonder if I should get rid of my apartment and live in my car. As I drove home this morning, I started reliving how I got to where I am today. I won't bore you with details, but sometimes I feel like it makes a lot of sense. I'm teaching at my district for a reason. I am surrounding myself with these people, spending my time doing what I need to be doing at this point in my life. Other times, nothing seems to fit. I get frustrated because I feel alone, like no one I care about is sharing my life with me. I never doubt the overall plan; however, I do get aggravated.

It takes those moments of frustration to adjust our outlook. It won't always make sense, and that's okay.

We won't always know the plan, but we always have to be ready. Listen.

Starts today.

We are always learning and growing. 

Come Home

Merry Christmas!

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." - Isaiah 9:6

Last night, my mom and I watched the Christmas Eve service online. We were unable to make it to the church that I regularly attend, but I was just as happy to be a part of the service as it played across the silver MacBook. As always, I was impressed with the music and message of the Christmas story. The minister talked about Christmas being a time to "come home." There is a lot of brokenness and temptations that continually burn holes in our hearts, but Christ was born to grant us the amazing gift of grace. This is a time to reconnect with those that we love the most. It doesn't matter where "home" is; what matters is who we are with. Mary and Joseph were not "home" in Bethlehem, but they trusted God. They were together, obeying God, and that was what mattered to them. Where is "home" for you?

Another interesting thought that the minister brought up was loving those who are not always easy to love. Think about the people in your life. They are not always easy to love, right? We are humans and we make mistakes. "You know those people, and you still love them." Pretty powerful. Christmas reminds us of the love we receive from God, as well as the love we spread to others.

Have a blessed day :-)

When I Grow Up

What do you want to be when you grow up? It's the daunting question we've been asked since we could talk. As children, it's excited to think of the endless possibilities that lie ahead of us. As adults, we joke about how we haven't gotten it all figured out yet. For all of us, it's reality.

I remember being asked this very question. I remember thinking that I just wanted to be happy. I wanted to be in a profession that left me with a sense of fulfilled. I know that I was made for a purpose, to teach others. The crazy thing is that I didn't realize this until later. As you may already know, I went back to school to become a teacher after working the the marketing field for a short time. While it is not the most direct route, it has lead me to the greatest profession -- teaching.

One of the reasons I bring this up is because many - if not all - of the seniors are talking about next year's plans. They are being asked by everyone they see: What are your plans for next year? Annoying, but people are just trying to be friendly. Isn't it strange though? We are asking 17 & 18 year olds to figure out their futures. While I believe in my students, and I think teenagers are given a bad rap, it still is a lot pressure.

I've been thinking about how to help them through this process. What can I say to ease the tensions? What do I wish someone would have told me?

* You are not your past. So many kids come from broken homes that offer little hope. I hope that my students know that they can build a new life for themselves. I believe this to be true.

* Do what makes you happy. This is the first real decision that these kids can make on their own. I hope they follow their own hearts, not their friends or their significant others.

* Mistakes and regrets are okay. What can I say, they happen. It's okay to make mistakes, just not over and over. It's okay to regret, but don't dwell on it. They are both a part of life.

I hope that everyone can go home at night with happiness in their hearts. If life has thrown you a bad hand, seek the good that comes alongside. Oftentimes, it's hard to find; however, it's there.

Unscrooged Hearts

Why is it so hard to be genuinely happy for others? We've all been there. A friend gets engaged, a colleague gets a promotion, an acquaintance on Facebook just had "the best day ever." Ideally, I would cheer those people on with a huge smile on my face; however, part of me feels jealous and envious. I am not proud of this because it makes me feel like a terrible person. It makes me feel ungrateful, which is far from the truth.

This morning, I read a devotional by Max Lucado. He spoke of the "uneven compensation" that we often feel. Why does God allow certain circumstances to happen to someone else but not me? I look around and see happy people. Especially during this time of year, people are surrounded with friends and family; however, I often feel lonely. I start to question why my life is the way it is. I begin to compare myself to others and question what I am doing, and even worse, I question God's plan.

These toxic comparisons don't have to drive my heart. I have the power to change my attitude, my thoughts. How? Prayer. Just has Max Lucado suggested in his devotional, only the grace-given can give grace back. We must let grace "unscrooge our hearts." I love this idea. After receiving God's grace, we can give it back; we can genuinely be happy for others.

Not too long ago, someone asked me how to live in the moment. "How do I learn to appreciate where I am right now?" My best answer was to slow down. Look around you. The last day of school before Christmas break, I sat in our gym and looked around. I was overwhelmed with happiness. Yes, things are not perfect, but I am at this point in my life for a reason. I am blessed, and I must remember this during the Christmas season.

Need to Create

I teach a Composition course to (mostly) seniors. As the semester wraps itself up, I have been reflecting on how the course has gone and how I can improve my teaching for the second half of the year. Writing is complex. Everyone learns differently, and that couldn't be more true with writing. The only way to become a better writer is to write… a lot. For many of my students, this is frustrating. It is especially discouraging to those that struggle with writing or don't like it at all. 

The fact is, I have always been a good writer. It has always come easy to me. I don't usually have to spend a lot of time proofreading or editing. Writing ideas seem to pop up when I least expect them. More often than not, I can't wait to write. I sit down and the words just start pouring out. I need to create. However, I need to remember that this is rare. I can't expect everyone to love writing the way I do. 

My sister is wrapping up her college finals this week. She is a talented art major. While I don't have her artistic abilities, I can relate to her need to create. She gets inspired and pulls all-nighters (literally). It's an amazing gift that continues to amaze me. To be honest, I think she amazes herself sometimes. She left her final drawing class today and sent me a sadface picture. Funny, but I totally get it because I felt the same way after some of my writing courses. I loved learning, writing, and creating. I still do. 

Art and writing are alike in the sense that they are constantly evolving. Not only are there new artists, pieces of literature, and techniques, but also, we are never finished. Artists and writers are never done learning. We are constantly producing and growing. There is no end when creating. Sure, I get in ruts where my "juices are flowing," but at some point, I am refreshed. I find new inspiration, new words. At the end of the day, I have been blessed with the need to create. 

Spiritual Vocabulary

Recently, my grandpa sent me an article from Guideposts titled "A Word for the New Year." It was by the author Debbie Macomber. The whole idea behind the article was that we choose one word to carry us through the year. Some of her examples throughout her life have been: hunger, prayer, and balance. This word is something to focus on as the day progresses; it also serves as a tool in prayer.

I started thinking about my word. My thoughts and words often get jumbled, and I need a place to focus. More than anything, I usually have too many words floating around in my mind. What if I had just ONE word to focus on? Could this help me grow as a person? As a Christian?

My first thought was hope. More than once, I have talked to my sister about the idea of hope. She told me, "It's pretty much my favorite thing ever." I'll never forget this because it is so true... especially for her. She's a dreamer, and she relies on hope to carry her throughout her day, her life. I love the song "Hope Now" by Addison Road.

"I'm not my own. I've been carried by You all my life. 

Everything rides on hope now. Everything rides on faith somehow. 

When the world has broken me down, Your love sets me free."

As Christians, we rely on this hope to guide us through our lives. Surrendering to this amazing faith helps us find peace when life seems chaotic and confusing. Yes, hope is important to have in my spiritual vocabulary.

With this said, I don't think that hope is going to be my word. Grace seems much more fitting for me. This is going to be a challenge because I've always had a hard time grasping this concept. "Grace is accepting what is rather than resenting what isn't." I need this. I need to accept grace in my life and surrender to God's amazing plan. His gift to me is grace, and I will pass on this loving attitude to those around me. 

Do What You Love, Love What You Do

This morning, I decided to take advantage of the fitness classes that are offered at my gym. I was feeling great after circuit and kickboxing. I really wish more of the classes fit into my schedule, but I have a pretty crazy life right now, so it's not surprising. As I drove home and got cleaned up, I couldn't help but smile. This is my favorite way to start a weekend. 

I had a few of those 'smiley moments' this week, and I realize this is because I love what I do. I am blessed with a career that leaves me fulfilled at the end of the day. Often I am overfilled, but that just comes along with working with other people... especially teenagers.

It happens every so often that I make a point to step back and soak it all in. I had a substitute on Thursday, and the kids were great. But what made this even more sweet was the fact that they missed me. Obviously, they didn't come right out and say it, but I could tell by our interactions on Friday. They seemed to respect and appreciate me, and I couldn't ask for much more than that. 

While I love teaching, it is not my entire life. Many of my students think this, but it is far from the truth. I thought about this after my workout. I feel fulfilled when I am doing the things I love OUTSIDE of the classroom as well. In order to appreciate my career as a teacher, I have to get away. I have to step back. My students are on my mind quite a bit, but is also my job to stay healthy... inside and out. I need to stay in-check with myself. To be honest, I have not been doing a very good job of that lately. I have strayed away from my faith a little. I hate this. I feel distant, and it hasn't taken long to have impacted my attitude. This weekend is going to be a time to recharge and refocus. I am going to do that by doing what I love, and loving every minute of it. 

Taking a Timeout

It's been a while since I've written a post. I have been beyond busy. A couple of weeks ago, I started my job as an assistant varsity girls basketball coach. Even since then, I have been going and going and going (Energizer bunny style). I can't say this has been all bad, but it was really only a matter of time before I crashed. With that said, by Tuesday this week I started feeling sick. I decided to just take a timeout today. I stayed home, and it was just what I needed. Just like I expect my players to do, I need to listen to myself when I need a break.

Why is it so hard for us to admit when we need a break? I was going back and forth with myself. Should I stay home? Should I push through until the weekend? My decision came after thinking of my students. After all, my real job is making sure they are learning and that I am doing my best to make that happen. The truth is, when I feel like crap, I teach like crap. I felt that way on Tuesday and Wednesday. I was doing a disservice to my students, and I that is not who I am. I know that I will go back tomorrow feeling prepared and upbeat. I will be the teacher that my students expect when they enter my classroom. And the best part? Tomorrow is Friday :-)