Lessons in Listening

I've always thought of myself as a good listener. I try to make it a priority to listen to others, but it wasn't until recently that I started to think about why I listen. Do I listen to understand? Do I listen so I can make connections? Do I listen so I can add my input? Or maybe better questions to ask myself are: Why should I listen? Why is it so important?

Too often I find myself listening only to add comments to the person talking. We've all done it. We wait for them to finish up so we can insert our own thoughts -- some of which may not even be about the other person. Sometimes we turn the focus back on ourselves. This isn't all bad. I think it's important to make personal connections in order to fully understand.

When listening, it's important to distinguish what the other person hopes from a listener. Sometimes it's good to just vent. We want to have a little pity party, and we don't want any lectures about it. Other times, we are seeking advice. We want to know the other person's input. Both of these scenarios are necessary.

When I took classes for my Communication degree, I remember being intrigued by the lack of communication that all of us have. Whether it was in a business setting or with a group of friends, communication can be difficult. We struggle to share our real feelings. We put a guard up in hopes of not hurting others. Sometimes we are merely forgetful which causes communication issues. Whatever the case may be, it doesn't deter from the fact that communicating with others is not only imperative, it's inevitable. It always makes me laugh when people say they don't want to be in a career where they "deal with people." Well, good luck because that career is essentially non-existant. We interact with others every day; therefore, communicating and listening are two critical tools to living.