Intimidation

I had an interesting conversation this weekend about confidence and intimidation. While one of my good friends suggested, "Confidence is the best accessory," I began to question the idea. Women are encouraged to be articulate, independent, strong, and accomplished; however, it is often a double standard. We are also conditioned to be silent, take up less physical space, and "play by the rules."

So, I started questioning where I fit into the mix. While I have a lot of growing to do, I believe that I am pretty secure. I know what I deserve; I am confident in myself. It took a long time of living in limbo, but I am finally in a profession that fulfills me and that I care very deeply about. Could this be intimidating? Or does it make me seem confident? 

I also got to thinking about my growing faith. While I by no means push my Christianity onto others, I do not shy away from sharing it and being a light to those around me. No, I am not perfect, and I will never try to be. I am simply secure with my faith and proud of myself for it.

Of course, people are also intimidated by looks, intelligence, and shy or outgoing people. The fact is, we are all so very different. Personalities clash while others mesh together perfectly. We just have to learn to exist and be kind to one another - no matter how alike or different we are. 

"I'll show you intimidation."

If this post seems random and weird it's because I have no idea what happened the last 72 hours of my life. How can I still be this drained and tired after a weekend? I need a lot of strength to get me through another week. Bring. It. On.

Boys of Fall

"What are you doing today?" The answer is simple: It's Saturday and it's fall; therefore, my TV is set to College Gameday from 10 a.m. until my I lay my head on the pillow tonight. I'll be honest, there are very few times that I actually watch an entire game. The best part is, I don't need to. Growing up, the background noises in the fall consisted of cheering crowds and yelling from my dad and brother when the referees made a less than pleasing call. Burning leaves and the smell of chili filled our home as we relaxed and enjoyed a sport we have all grown to love.

Last night I sat through a high school football game, and I couldn't help but smile as I enjoyed the company of my coworkers and the occasional chat with a student. I felt at home as we all shared stories and cheered on our "boys of fall." Luckily, we crushed the other team pretty effortlessly :-)

A few weekends ago, I was invited to my brother's place for the weekend to enjoy some tailgating and a UNI vs. Iowa football game. Mike is oddly obsessed with Hawkeye football, and I felt so privileged to share the weekend with him. While the Hawks did beat my Panthers, I was able to shake it off and continue on having a great time with my brother and friends. The sense of pride people have towards "their team" is so cool. I am not very competitive, but I do think it is important to have pride in where you come from. It represents who we are as people and as a community. There is just something about slipping on your teams colors on a Saturday morning.

Go Panthers!!

Thoughts on a Thursday

Pay attention to their stories.

It only takes one.

Always.

Take chances.

Never settle.

Truth.

Listen to yourself.

Change of Perspective

After a long day, I found myself driving home with a bad attitude. I am feeling a bit discouraged about a few things at school, and it is so easy to jump on the "Negative Nancy" bandwagon. While I shared my concerns with a few good friends, I realized that I needed to change my attitude. I simply need to make the best out of the situations I have been given. While strolling through Pinterest, I came across this:

It is never a bad time to be reminded to take on a new perspective. Instead of dwelling on what is not going right, I need to refocus on all of the positive aspects of my life.

Long day = falling asleep on my couch while watching "Modern Family." Goodnight blogging buddies :-)

Gal Pals

I got off the phone with a girlfriend the other evening. We had a serious venting session based on various topics. Honestly, I'm not even sure either one of us cared what we were talking about; we simply wanted to complain and swear. It's not that we are crabby gals, but we just needed to get a little bit of that garbage out in the open. Sometimes after a bitch-session I feel guilty; however, it was refreshing. Even if my friend didn't agree with me, she was on-board with everything I was saying. It's kind of like turning to a friend and saying, "Who are we mad at today?" Good friends are always on your side (I suppose there could be an exception or two).

On my way home today, I felt like talking to someone. I realized that the person that would really understand my mood was busy. I got to thinking about all of my close girlfriends. They all serve a different purpose in my life.

There's the gal pal I call if I need to clear my head and forget about everything. We often go out to a sports bar or even dancing. She's the girl that always wants to laugh and have a good time. There's nothing better than cutting loose and belly laughter!

I also have my teacher friends. They understand the ins and outs of the school system. We vent and share stories of our students (in confidence, of course). We send and receive loads of advice from one another. There is no way I could live without these girlies.

My heart-to-heart best friend. She is the one that knows me better than I know myself. She knows when to give advice and when to let me learn and grow on my own. She listens, loves, and cares more than I deserve. I don't know what I would ever do without this very special, life-long friend.

Of course there are the shopping buddies, the workout friends, my accountabilities buddies, and the list goes on. I find many of my girlfriends placed in every category of my life. I am very fortunate and blessed to be surrounding with so many wonderful, beautiful gal pals :-)

Gangnam Style

I don't know why I'm surprised, but Ellen has done it again. It never fails that she continues to make me laugh with her sarcasm and exceptional guests. I love my mom, but I don't think she does anything like this mom. Enjoy :-)

Tell me you aren't loving life right now!!

My Forbidden Territory

There is one room in my apartment that will never agree with me. The kitchen. I don't know what it is, but I tend to burn, overcook, undercook, and basically destroy any attempted dish. This morning I wanted to make a two-ingredient pancake, a recipe that I read on a blog. It turned out a big pile of mush, and I'm pretty sure I ate raw eggs for breakfast.

After a refreshing hike/jog at a nearby state park this afternoon, I was feeling the need for a little snack. The chocolate and ice cream that I was craving was no where to be found, so I opted for some popcorn. As I proceeded to open the bag, I found half of the burnt to a crisp. I can't think of much worse than the smell of burnt popcorn floating through the air. Ugh.

Looks like I'll be feasting on cereal, turkey sandwiches, and soup for the rest of my life. I don't think I can screw those up too badly.

Ahhh... exactly.

Boy am I glad I picked up some sushi from Trader Joe's this afternoon. At least I have some supper to look forward to :-)

Pajama Kind of Weekend

Happy weekend!! And when I say happy, I mean HaPpY! After a week of feeling under the weather, I was so excited to hear that final bell at school today. Don't get me wrong, we had a good day; however, they were just as happy to see me cruise away in my Malibu as I was to watch the yellow buses file towards the county roads.

I am looking forward to a weekend full of movies, pajamas, and chats with friends and family. I am in some definite need of R&R. Of course, school work will seep its way into my weekend plans. I was just too weak this week to work ahead like I generally like to do.

After school, I hoped in my car to head north to my hometown. I was excited to throw on my sweatpants and enjoy some chocolate with my mom. I don't know how it happens, but we always manage to talk each other into needed sweets for our bellies. Those darn M&Ms - my weakness! I am so excited to teacher talk and vent to my mom; she's good for that ;-)

I was snooping around on the internet (another weakness of mine), and I found these babies:

Um... where can I find me a pair?!? Don't they look amazing? Do you think they would fit in to my school's dress code?

Dear Santa,
  
All I want for Christmas is a gigantic pair of pink pajamas.

Your favorite English teacher,
Anna

Happy vs. Broken Heart

The other day, I heard a debate about whether or not college is worth the investment. With the amount of debt that students are left with, many argue that it is too much of a financial burden. While I am all for higher education, it did get me thinking about college curriculum and how prepared students leave after graduation. I am a HUGE advocate for many types of education. The liberal arts core, partnered with major courses, stretch the minds of students; they are the basic foundation for all of the learning that will continue throughout life. As a college student, I not only grew in my education, but this was the most important time for me to develop as a person. I learned how to respect others, the importance of healthy relationships, and matured in my faith and morals.

On the contrary, I do remember taking courses and thinking, "How is this going to make me a better teacher?" The aspects of teaching that scared me the most could not be taught in a 3 hour college course. Even during student teaching, I was unable to really piece it all together. Classroom management, dealing with parents, grading, and building relationships with students were things that I had to learn (and will continue to learn) in my own classroom. Professors, administrators, teachers, and even friends can tell you about teaching, but you simply have to figure it out according to your own experiences.

I have found this to be very true over the past month and a half. I remember teacher friends telling me about struggles - problem students, upsetting grades; however, this really didn't hit me until recently. They say you can't take the lives of your students home with you, but it is impossible. My rides home are generally filled with one of two feelings: a happy heart or a broken heart. So many wonderful teachable moments are occurring each day - lessons go off without a hitch, kids make me laugh with their goofy sayings, or I am overly impressed with an essay. But what really weighs on me is learning about the home-life of some students. There are so many people that are much less fortunate that me. I am beginning to learn that it is not my fault, so it doesn't help to feel bad for them. The only thing I can do is make that person feel important for the 42 minutes they sit in my classroom. A safe environment is what I have control over, and it is what I will strive for each day.

Worn. Out.

Monday night, I was laying on the couch trying to catch up on "The Real Housewives of NYC" when it hit me. I suddenly felt weak, cold, and achy. I pretended like I was fine. I focused in on my trashy Bravo television and made my way to bed at a decent hour. I woke up only a few times throughout the night to the feeling of a scratchy throat. Again, I ignored and continued about my routine on Tuesday.

It wasn't until 7th hour when someone mentioned that I didn't look, nor was I acting, like myself. "Ms. Nelson, you look like you don't feel well and don't want to be here." Ding, ding, ding! Can we get a prize for the senior in the front row?

truth.

As I drove home from school, I confessed to myself: "Anna, you are worn out. Face the facts." I got to thinking about the chaos of the weekend and the lack of routine. I have been going at a much faster pace lately. Part of me loves this; however, part of me is wishing for the weekend. I plan on doing some serious relaxing all weekend. Oh, I can just taste the R&R that is making it's way to me. Thankfully, each moment this draws closer and closer to becoming my reality.

how I look.

how I feel.

 Get this girl some meds and a bed.

Lyric Love

We all have a song that, no matter where we are, sings to us. The lyrics dance off the page. The melody sings straight into our hearts. Brian Littrell's "In Christ Alone" always reminds me of what my faith is all about; it grounds me as a Christian. I want to share message with you today.

:-)

An Early Halloween

I consider myself to being a pretty modest dresser, not just because I am a teacher, but because I am a respectable human being. I try not to look like a nun; however, you will probably never see me parading around braless or in cheekie shorts. It's just not my thing...

At school, we have this thing called a dress code. I know it's hard to believe, but many of the students try to bend the rules. You know, a spaghetti strap here, a ripped up pair of jeans there. Let's just say, it can get a little out of control at times. Recently, the issue is focused on the length of shorts. To be honest, this does not really bother me, mostly because I realize how hard it is to find shorts that are the "appropriate" length. You step into Hollister or American Eagle and it's nearly impossible to find shorts with longer than 2 inch inseams.

Where I do have a problem is on the top half. Like, cover those girls up! I cannot believe the amount of cleavage making it's way up and down the halls. I guess the girls don't feel uncomfortable, but I am beginning to wonder if they have forgotten about their male teachers. If I feel weird, then I can't imagine how they are feeling.

This weekend I was in Iowa City tailgating with my brother and watching my Panthers. After the game, we made our way downtown, and it was like an early Halloween. Girls were wearing... well, not much. I couldn't stop staring. Like... I don't even have words right now.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Exactly.

I'm going to throw on an oversized sweater and baggy sweatpants... goodbye.

Making Time

Life is full of meetings, activities, obligations, and commitments. People will forever complain of being overworked and "too busy." I must say, I grow tired of this. Maybe it is because I consider myself very good at time management, or maybe I am just simply bored with all of the complaining.

I'm beginning to believe that much of this is just people looking for excuses to pick and choose what they spend their time doing. I can't say that there is really anything wrong with this; however, somewhere along they way we have lost the importance of honesty. The fact is, we make time for those people and activities that mean the most to us. If I want to do something - spend time with someone - then I make time. Fact.

Make time for those you love.

Never Underestimate

When taking on any new job, you hear a lot of buzzing in your ear. "So-in-so always does this." "They are really not good at that." "Watch out for that group." It's hard not to take all of the information to heart. I mean, don't the veterans know all ins and outs of the place?

I was cautioned early on to pick and choose the information that I would receive throughout my first year of teaching. I am beginning to figure out exactly why. The fact is, my classroom should be ran my way. I am the one in charge as soon as my students enter the often chaotic learning space I have created. I remember being told during my student teaching that I am the only one living in my brain, so it makes no sense to try and teach someone else's curriculum. I shouldn't try and act or discipline like anyone else but myself.

I also see this reflected in how I view my students. First impressions are very critical; however, sometimes it doesn't take long to change a person's mind. Just as my students have labeled me, I have categorized them by ability, background, and appearance. Sorry to say it folks, but I'm human. With that being said, I am feeling very humbled this evening as I realize I have been mistaken.

I began reading through my first batch of Composition papers. I had heard rumors of "bad grammar" and "bad writers." Due to these thoughts planted in my head, I was ready to be slightly disappointed. While I have only read a few papers, I am happy to say that I was wrong to assume. I have already gotten goosebumps from the topics and writing style of some of my students. I literally thought to myself: pinch me; I am living out my dream. I love editing, and my red pen has been known to get a little too happy as it glides across student papers. However, I did not feel frustrated or compelled to mark up these papers. I was much more interested in listening to the story behind the words. I have been reminded how important it is to never underestimate anyone, especially the voices of my students.

The Teacher's Holy Ground

I've been in a few teacher's lounges in my day. I remember growing up a teacher's kid and having access to the copy machine, three-hole punch, and more shades of construction paper than you could dream of. I didn't abuse my "power" as a teacher's kid, but I do remember a time when I stapled my finger... what can I say? I was a bright child.

When I began my journey towards becoming an English teacher, I found myself viewing the teacher's lounge a little bit differently. It is now the center for chocolatey treats and "adult discussions." Hey, sometimes you just have to get away from high school drama and chats about the school dress code. However, there are many conversations about students take place in these little rooms. That's right, we just can't get enough of the kiddos. It's hard not to slip in a few comments about students while we snarf down our sandwiches and diet soda, because we all know that teachers are generally allowed 20 minutes to eat, check their email, and slip in and out of the bathroom.

You may ask, what else happens in there? Well, it's pretty thrilling, let me tell ya. There is this machine we call the "copier" where rubrics and worksheets make their way from the "hot press" to the paws of our students. And, of course, there are mailboxes full of teacher junk mail. You thought that you only received that stuff at home... well, you have been mistaken. I throw away more magazines and "Letters to the Drama Teacher" than you can imagine. The best part of my current teacher's lounge: a pop machine with cans for only 50 cents. Yes, they do still exist.

So, students, if you try to peak into the teacher's holy ground, do so cautiously. For this is the place where teachers get crazy as they sip on Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi and cackle about the latest gossip. 

Sunny Sunday

Yesterday was full of football, football, and some more football. I supported my Panthers, and was slightly to see that I was the only girl wearing purple and gold. The way I see it, you can't be a loser if you're a Panther; no one is ever mad at UNI fans ;-)

This morning I woke up ready to tackle the day. It's sunny and cheerful, and I am looking forward to a day of productivity. I love being a morning person. I had a roommate that would joke about how I would get more done before 11 a.m. than she would then entire day. Well, that's just how I roll :-)

I was feeling a little bit bummed out on Friday night, and then I came across this:

Just a little reminder for us all. Enjoy your Sunday!

Homecoming Hangover

No, I haven't woken up this morning with a pounding headache due to an excess of seasonal beer and flavored rum. I don't feel woosey or light-headed. After all of the Homecoming festivities, I am simply tired.

This week, my school celebrated a week of dress-up days, "Saber Games," and of course, the big game last night. While I am still learning about my school, I am noticing a lot of differences among places I substitute taught, student taught, and my alma mater. I am careful not to judge, only recognizing that schools run differently according to tradition, abilities, and personalities. The suburban school, only a short hour away, is packed to the brim with students, while my school struggles for enrollment. I am learning so much each day, and this year's Homecoming experience was not any different.

Growing up, Homecoming was the focal point of the fall. Dress-up days consisted of wild outfits full of togas, nerdy suspenders, and spirit day, where red and black colored the school. Powder Puff games and bonfires filled our weeknight activities. We looked forward to coronation and the football game. We wrapped up a week of fun by dancing our booties off to "Who Let the Dogs Out."

My senior year Powder Puff game... don't ask why I have this picture ;-)

Innocent fun. Innocent fun that seems to be lacking today. I was sad to see that Homecoming just isn't what it used to be. There were few kids showing their school spirit by dressing up wacky. Apparently they were "too cool"... lame; however, there was one tradition that I was able to participate in... "Kiss the Animal." Guess what the animal was this year? A donkey. Yes, I kissed an ass.

I am happy to report that the weather cooperated last night. It was perfect football weather for a Saber victory! I sat among parents, students, teachers, and alumni to watch the boys play 8-man football. Yes, schools still play this condensed version of what we watch on TV. I actually really enjoyed learning about it, even though it isn't much different from what we are used to seeing.

At any rate, I am tired today. The only problem is: you can't be tired when Iowa plays Iowa State in football. Welp, time to cheer on the Hawks Cyclones Panthers!!!

No Labor in Charleston

What a great weekend full of all things good! I can hardly believe that just two days ago I was laying on the beach and wedding dancing. I had an amazing time with friends, and I realized that the best way for me to share this with y'all is through photos. Enjoy!

Katherine and I doing some beach bummin'!!

Heading to the reception in Charleston.

Katherine and I were pretty positive that Paula Deen would arrive at some point... she didn't.

My best friend in the entire would ;-)

Ashley and the Strawberry Point crew. 

Oh, just tearing up the dance floor.

H-D gals!

Hanging with the pretty bride!

Me and Cale :-)

Way too much fun with these boys...

So, back to school tomorrow... bring it on! I'm in a great mood after so much fun this weekend! Happy homecoming week for me :-)