Support or Judge

On my way home last night, I heard a quick devotional from Proverbs 31 Ministries. Many of their devotionals are directed toward mothers, but I often find myself adapting them to my life, or even to my students' lives. 

I was all ears last night when the woman spoke about judging others. This is a constant struggle for me, as it is for everyone. The message asked if we were judging others when we should be supporting them. Yeah, ponder that one. We poke fun of someone who just doesn't get it as when we should be helping that person. We criticize people about how they do something when we could be learning for them. We should be supporting their way. 

Obviously, we are all sinners. We are going to catch ourselves staring at someone's outfit wondering, "Did she get dressed in the dark?" The way I see it, those unhealthy thoughts can do one of two things: stay in your mind or be shared with others. Impure thoughts are bound to pop up, but what we do with them is what really matters. Those "judgey" thoughts may become topic of conversation, leading to a very toxic environment. We have a choice to support, or even help someone, or we can judge. 

I love this idea. Everyone has a history. Everyone has a story to tell. I think I have one of those faces that screams, "Tell me all your problems!!" This is not all bad, but I have found myself in some awkward situations. Last night, a girl about my age starting telling me all about her past relationships. It was very messy, and I was honored that she was comfortable enough to share with me (I had just met her). On the way home, I thought about her. I thought about what defined her as a woman, as a mother, as a wife. It's not her past. That has only made her stronger. Her past shaped her to become who she is today. It wasn't my place to judge her. I was there to listen and support. 

To Be Teachable

As we get older, it's easy to think we have things figured out. If we've been working at the same job for a number of years, we may forget the importance of learning. Continuing to be teachable is a necessary tool that keeps us focused. More than anything, it helps renew our spirit.

My job is unique in the sense that I get a (mostly) fresh start each August. Each class has a different "feel" to it. The content and attitudes of the kids change each class period. There are so many factors that come into play when teaching. One thing is for sure, and that is the kids know what their job is: to learn. Isn't that why we go to school? They might not love that idea, but essentially they come with a pencil and paper to sit in class while the teacher instructs them. Obviously, each teacher and class is different, but the overall intent is the same. So, do I dare say that my students are teachable? For the most part, yes. 

Here's a better question: Am I teachable? As an adult, it's easy to think I'm right or am more knowledgeable than my students. This isn't always the case. Even when I talk to other teachers, am I open to new ideas? Am I ready to learn more in order to make myself better?

"Be willing to listen to others and be teachable. You're not right about everything…nobody is."

I hope this new school year brings about many teachable moments. Not just for my students, but for myself as well. More often than not, it's challenging, but the end result is so worth it.

Country Clubbin'

Yesterday, I was asked to play in a charity golf tournament with a couple of my girlfriends. As it turns out, someone had already paid and was unable to attend; therefore, we pretty much played for free at one of the nicest (and most difficult) courses in the area. My friends are members at the course, so they were familiar with the layout. I, on the other hand, was playing pretty blindly. While it wasn't the best I have ever played, it was a lot of fun to be doing an activity that I enjoy with a couple of great girls!

I grew up on the golf course. I remember riding alongside my dad and brother at the local country club that we have been members of for as long as I can remember. I have very found memories of summer days filled with both frustration and smiles. As I entered high school, I was a part of the golf team all four years. Some of my favorite sports memories are from my high school golf team. I remember course, weather conditions, and all the silliness that happened in the golf vans on the way home from a meet. I am very thankful to my dad for helping me appreciate the game of golf.

With all of that said, yesterday's experience at a country club was unlike any I have had. I love being from a small town, but I hate feeling like I haven't been exposed to "big city" things. If you are from a small town, you totally understand what I am saying. I get how country clubs work. Not only was I a member, but I worked at one for a few years; however, I literally got lost in the ladies locker room yesterday (embarrassing, but I just played it off like I knew what I was doing). In this particular country club, there was a separate section for men only. Yea, can you imagine what the feminists would say about that? Ha. Everything was very nice, and I was treated very well. Let's just say, I'm not used to ladies throwing around my month's salary for a caddy. If you have the money, I believe it's important to give to others in need. This charity in particular is called Amanda the Panda, which is a grief center for people in the area. I am very grateful for the gracious donations and the opportunity to have been a part of the day.

And one last thought. I laughed a little as I returned home because the local county fair is going on this weekend. So, I went from country clubbin' to figure 8 races, polo shirts to overalls, and chicken salad to funnel cake. Funny how things roll out!

Soak It All In

Last night my school's baseball team played in the first round of the state tournament. Not only was it a great victory, but one of the best games I've seen in a while. The kids were focused and playing with impressive composure. Honestly, they hardly seemed like teenagers. I was impressed by the way the played, along with the amount of community members, teachers, and students that filled up the stands. It was beyond cool.

Naturally, this morning I was checking some of the local news reports on the game. I read various interviews with the coach and players. As I read their words, I couldn't be more proud as I could hear their voices dance off the page. The team that we beat is a known baseball powerhouse that has been a presence in the state tournament for a number of years. It was our first win in the state tournament. All of which made this win incredibly sweet. It will definitely take some time to let this all sink in.

Without getting into details, there are more than a few reasons why this team is special. It's clear to see that they are more than just a baseball team; they are a family. The way they communicate and play together is inspiring. Honestly, I am still kind of soaking it all in myself. I am thankful to be a part of such a cool experience. Once again, I am right where I need to be. I'm looking forward to the next round of baseball this week!

Money, Money, Money

I have a serious love/hate relationship with money. Over the past year or so, I have had quite a few conversations about money with family and close friends. We all agree that it is frustrating but necessary. It's not fun to deal with, talk about, or even think about; however, it must be addressed. I know that I will be provided for, but that doesn't mean that I don't stress and worry about loans, debts, and other expenses. With that said, I have learned a lot about how to handle money and budgeting. I am no expert, but there are times (not many) that I feel like I am "getting it." 

You may be wondering where this is all coming from. Well, I had a few conversations about finances over the past few days, and then I ran across an MSNBC article called "7 Money Lessons for 20-Somethings." I read through the article and found it quite helpful and interesting. 

1. New cars are a luxury for a few. Not that I had a brand new car on my brain, but it is good to know that even if you had the money for a new car, it should probably be in your savings. You may think, "But I would look so good in a 2013 Ford F-150." Well, my friend, let's look to the future.

2. Living like a college student lasts beyond college. Thank you! I thought I was the only one eating eggs for every meal (kidding, Mom... sort of). But seriously, you don't graduate with a degree and have a stable income within the first few months. I am learning that this can take years. And, honestly, this is okay. Life doesn't fall together in one day.

3. Student loans can be managed. While it may be hard to believe, there are people and programs to help make these daunting loans bearable (well, sort of).

4. Consumer debt must be handled immediately. This wasn't exactly what I wanted to read, but it's true. Any credit card debt should be taken care of.... ugh.

5. An emergency fund is not old-fashioned. Having a space with extra funds in case of an unexpected expense is smart. I have a little bit of cash stashed away, and hopefully, I can have a larger fund as I become more financially stable. It's just a good feeling to have this accessible in necessary.

6. Saving for retirement is as necessary as ever. I'm young, and it's hard to think that far down the road, but I need to. Planning ahead will only pay off in the long run (no pun intended).

7. You can reward yourself without splurging. I have found this to be very true. My splurging isn't always spending. Sometimes it's spending time with a friend. Sometimes it's going somewhere I haven't been in a while. My splurging is doing something that makes me happy, within reason. 

I realize this topic isn't that fun for a Friday, but I wanted to get it written down. It's just an important part of life. I am glad that I am learning about finances, and I am thankful for the support of my family. Have a great day!

The Lone Teacher

My Saturday night was awesome! It wasn't anything over-the-top exciting, but I felt so happy. I met my parents, and we went to my school's baseball game. The boys have been doing amazing this year and have a 34-2 winning record. After last night's victory, they only need to win one more before going to state. I might be a little bias, but I would say we have a 97% chance of going all the way :-)

While it was way fun to watch the boys play well and win, it was also nice to see other teachers, parents, and students. It means a lot to me to get to know the kids outside of their schoolwork. I make a point to visit with them at the beginning of class. When doing this, they are much more "settled in" once we start the material. I also try my best to remember what they tell me. If someone has a job interview or an important test in another class, I want to check back with them to see how things are going. Their lives matter to me, and I was reminded of that last night. I can't really describe the feeling, but I just knew I was exactly where I needed to be. It was also really nice to have my parents their to share the night with. 

When I got home, I was wired. I was smiley and felt like being around people; however, that just wasn't in my cards for last night. At first, I felt a little lonely, but then I hit a wall. Ha. I was so tired because I had gotten up very early. I also haven't been sleeping well, but that's a totally other thing. 

After being around teachers and students, I felt like I was knocked back into school mode. This morning, my mind was back in gear brainstorming lesson plans and other ideas. I spent a few (cough) hours online today, searching and browsing around different teacher websites. I can't say I felt productive, but I started to think, "Am I the only teacher that does this... like all summer?" I literally haven't stopped thinking school since.... wait, I just never stopped. I guess I just need someone to tell me I'm normal. Tell me I'm not the lone teacher dreaming of school. This just tells y'all how much I love my job. 

I can't believe the weekend is over. 

Sunshine on My Shoulders

If you took one look at me, it would be plain to see what I have been doing this summer. Hanging out in the sun. I have always known that I am solar-powered, but recently I have taken this to a new level. Any chance I get, I'm outside. My body responds fairly well to the sun, so I am one bronze girl!

Not only have I found myself lounging poolside with a good book, but today I went to a local beach with a friend. We plopped our towns on the sand and sprawled out. It was the first day in quite a while where the heat wasn't too oppressive to enjoy being outside. It was a pretty entertaining day as we listened to some nearby kids. They were saying the silliest things! It was a perfect way to get a few giggles in :-)

While we were laying on the beach today, I said to my friend, "The sun and I just get along so well." As I drove home, I started to think about the day. I mean, is there anything better than the feeling of sunshine beating down on your skin?!? So far, this weekend has been pretty close to perfect.

Confession: I am currently listening to John Denver's "Sunshine on My Shoulders." Tonight I am meeting my parents to go to a baseball game. My school's baseball team is playing tonight to advance to state. It should be a great game. I couldn't be more proud of the guys. I hope they play well tonight, and bring home a victory!! Go Sabers!!!

Be Yogi

 I always enjoy trying new things, especially when they are active. I think it's important to continue to challenge yourself both mentally and physically. This summer, I have tried a few different yoga classes.  It's been interesting, mostly because I was never really into the meditation side of yoga. I am a person that wants to go hard and then peace out. Yoga, as you probably already know, is the complete opposite. You are challenged to slow down with poses that stretch muscles and improve balance. Along with that, yoga teaches you how to focus on breathing and searching for peace of mind.

With the different classes I've tried, the most interesting would probably hot yoga. You literally practice yoga in a room that is between 90-100 degrees. For a person that sweats profusely, this is pretty extreme. The first class I went to I really enjoyed. I felt like I was able to perform the sequences fairly well. The other class was a different story. We must have signed up for a higher difficulty level because it was hard! Not only were the sequences more challenging, the room was hotter. Needless to say, I wanted to pass out or throw up after the hour was complete.

Last night, I met with a few girls for Yoga on the Glen. One of the yoga studios in the area puts on an outdoor class along with a reggae band. The class was pretty awesome, and it was fun to do alongside my girlfriends. The only part that I wasn't necessary used to was the "free love" element that guided us through the class. I'm all about love, but when the instructor starting skipping around the lawn, I was a little taken aback. At any rate, I felt great when we were done. I would really like to start doing more yoga, but we'll have to see!

Defining Happiness

Have you ever noticed that when someone is going through a difficult time people always say, "Just do what makes you happy." I'm not saying this is bad advice, but what if you don't know what it is that makes you happy? What if it feels like there's not a lot to be happy about? Heavy questions for a Thursday, huh? I promise I won't give you an assignment ;-)

I was reading an article on Greatist called "How to Find Happiness When There is Nothing to Be Happy About." It was really quite interesting, and it got me thinking about the seemingly little things in my life that make me happy. I started remembering trips with friends, sitting around the dinner table with family, and hilarious conversations that pop up when I'm teaching. All of these things make me incredibly happy. Just as it is important to be in community with others, sometimes we must learn to be happy by ourselves. I realize that people are designed to interact, but that isn't always the case.

So, what makes you happy when your all by yourself? These are the things that fill my time and make me feel productive, balanced, and smiley.

1. Running. I can't go a day without sweating. I just love it. I cannot think of a better release than an open road and my Mizunos. In more recent years, I have really grown to love fitness and creating workouts. Seriously, this is probably my greatest passion.

2. Reading. Confession: I read an entire book yesterday. I guess that's what teachers do in the summer? All I know is that reading is a wonderful escape. As soon as I pick up a good book, it's like I'm in another world. How cool is that? Plus, it makes me feel like a smartie :-)

3. Painting my nails. Go ahead and think this is ridiculous, but I feel so put-together when my nails are done. Who doesn't like to feel pretty every now and then?!? Plus, I have close to 100 colors, so I can get creative too.

4. Cleaning. So maybe it's not so much the cleaning itself, but I love the feeling of a clean and organized space. The freshness makes me enjoy the day so much more. Plus, I really can't stand clutter (OCD? Maybe).

5. Writing. Yay! This is where I am able to get my creative juices flowing. I really wish I was able to do more of it, but I suppose everyone says that about the things they enjoy.

I feel like now would be a good time to grab some fresh flowers, ice tea, and a good book. Ahh... life is good!!

House Hunters

I don't know why, but lately I have found myself watching House Hunters on HGTV... Like, way too much. Maybe it's because I have more time this summer? It's an easy show to turn to and have your mind drift in and out.

When I decided to go back to school, I moved in with a friend that showed me that HGTV and Law and Order: SVU are great ways to pass the time. We used to always joke about the goons that were on HGTV shows. We even talked about writing in and having them makeover the house we were living in. Do you ever wonder what a designer would do to transform the space your living in?

For some reason, I have found myself becoming overly frustrated with the people on House Hunters. It's like a recording because they all seem to say the same things.

"This would be a great place to entertain." Okay, how often do you think those people really entertain? And what does that even mean? I suppose it would be a smart idea to buy a home for the three times a year that you entertain. Yea, that's sarcasm.

"I really want an open concept." This is particularly annoying when they are looking at Victorian homes made in the early 1900s. That's not how they were built back then!!! I can't say I like feeling claustrophobic in teeny, tiny rooms, but I also don't need to see everyone I live with at all times.

"There's not a fence for (insert any dog name here)." So buy a fence and put it up?

"I'm looking for a space with a lot of character." Okay, cool, but you're probably going to have to start making some compromises. The only way to a perfect home is to custom build it yourself.

My biggest problem with the show is how rude people are. It's really not that big of a deal to paint a room, so why must they complain about the bright orange walls in the dining room? And, so you have to share a closet with your spouse. Who cares when the closet is the size of a small bedroom? Oftentimes, people are total jerks complaining about stainless steel and granite countertops. There just never seems to be enough space. I get it. This is your home, but I just want to yell at the TV sometimes.

That was quite a rant, but I've been holding it in for quite a while. Apparently I'm not the only one. Here is another blogger's opinion on the matter.

What I Forgot About HS Sports

I was very involved when I was in high school. Whether it was the student council or the golf team, I have found memories of a busy schedule surrounded by lots of classmates. I am not the kind of person that talks about how high school is the best time of one’s life. To me, this is garbage. There is just no way that pleasing people and feeling uncomfortable in my own skin are going to be the best times of my life. I will say, however, that it was one of the easiest times of my life. I mean, think about it. All you have to do is show up to class, do your homework, and be respectful. If teenagers think this is a rough time, wait until you get your first college exam, electricity bill, or find yourself unable to pay for a tank of gas. Welcome to the life of a grown up. Yuck.

My dad is a softball coach for my old high school. A few weeks ago, I was able to watch the Bulldog softball tournament. I got a kick out of visiting with some of the girls and watching them interact. Since I am a high school teacher, I hear this all the time, but for some reason it all sounded oddly familiar when I was back home. I remembered walking through those halls and playing for the Bulldogs. Without getting too sentimental, I thought I would share a few things that I forgot about high school sports.

It’s a competition. Okay, so I’m not very competitive. In fact, there is only one game that sticks out when I was actually upset about losing. I can vividly picture the game, the locker room, and my conversation with my parents when I got home. But, for all those other games, I kind of faked it. I was kind of like, “Alright, what are we doing after the game?” I know. I’m terrible.

It’s all about the hair. This one might be only geared towards me. Getting ready for games in the locker room was always so fun. We would crank up the music, prance around in sports bras, and braid each other’s hair. For some reason, the girls in my grade were much more about looks. I remember putting on makeup to play basketball…. and sometimes even glitter. Ha.

Teamwork is the best. I really miss being a part of a team. It's awesome knowing that your teammates had your back and that you were all fighting for the same thing. I had so much school spirit, and that by far was my favorite part of high school. In fact, this was one of the reasons that I decided to become a teacher. The feeling when you walk through a school with spirit makes me so happy, so proud.

I hope you enjoyed! For some reason I feel like doing some cheers… what has gotten into me?!?

Never Go Back

I have spent a pretty good amount of time at the pool this summer. Do you know who else goes to the pool? Kids. Yea, a lot of them. I usually just hang out in my chair with a book and soak it all in. The things that I overhear are pretty hilarious. 

The other day I was standing in line and two younger girls were flipping their hair and checking their cell phones. One said to the other, "Oh my gawsh! He's, here!" I looked around because I wanted to know who he was. I couldn't figure it out, but for some reason I was excited for them. Weird.

I also watched a young couple leaning against a fence having what looked like a pretty intense conversation. My mind wandered back to 7th grade. What could they possibly have to "discuss?" Maybe he was flirting with another girl at the baseball diamond. Or he could have been texting someone else behind her back. Really, the possibilities are endless. For the record, they hugged it out in the end (P.S. I'm not creepy - just observant).

Just last week I was at the pool with my friend. There were about a dozen tweens gathering for a 12-year-old birthday party. A handful of them were wearing matching swimsuits. You could tell they all had a specific role in the group. There was one bigger girl in a tankini. I wanted to yell to her, "It gets better! I promise!" My friend and I just rolled our eyes and said, "I would never go back to that age." Except, remember when you could eat anything you wanted? That I could handle again. 

When I'm teaching, this a lot of time to observe teenagers. I just keep in mind that this is a really egocentric time of their life. They really don't think about what will have tomorrow, next week. This can be good and bad. It's important to consider consequences of one's actions, but there is something to be said about just living for today. 

With that said, it's pretty safe to say none of us would ever go back to junior high. 

Good People

I believe in good people. War, hurt, and harsh words seem to constantly be on our radar. But if you really step back and look, people are good. They go out of their way to encourage, love, and help others. Whether they are strangers or best friends, I have been reminded lately of the kindness that surrounds me. I believe that if we look for good in others, we will find it. Everyone has something to offer. We all are worthy of being treated with respect.

With the upcoming school year approaching (sorry teachers, but it's true), I have been thinking a lot about how to see the good in my students, fellow teachers, and other people that venture up and down the hallways. What can I, along with my students, do to spread good things rather than focusing on the negative? While I have a few ideas in mind, I smile because I know my students will be on board. Why? Because they are good people. They want the positive to outsmart the negative just as much as me.

Last week, I received two cards from close friends. They had the kindest words. It was as if they knew exactly what I needed to read. Their words reminded me how good they are. While shopping yesterday, my mom and I encountered the most helpful people. I realize it is their job to find different sizes and give suggestions, but they did it with a smile.

It's so important to surround yourself with good people. When we do so, the good in us is much more evident. We shine because those around us do. "Good people bring out the good in other people."

How stinkin' cute is this?!?

So Many Activities

It's Saturday night, and I am on my couch in some serious lounge clothes... and it's not even 8:00. Really cool, I know. Before you go thinking I'm a loser, let me explain how tiring the past week has been for me. It's not surprising that it has finally caught up with me.

While I am super tired tonight, I have been really loving my life the past few days. I've been living in "weekend mode" since last Wednesday when I traveled to stay with my best friend for a couple of days. It was jam packed with activities, but we were so excited to see each other that we didn't have time to think about being tired.

Last night, I headed to the Iowa Cubs game for some baseball, beers, and brats. Actually it was more like baseball, water, and waffle fries (not proud of that), but it doesn't have the same ring to it :-) Once again, lots of activities ranging from lounging on the upper deck, visiting with friends, and dodging "Cubbie" the mascot (he's creepy... that's all you need to know). The Iowa Cubs took home the victory which was followed by fireworks! It was a perfect summer evening.

Today was another busy one. My mom came down to check out the farmer's market. We walked around and scoped out the yummy fruits and veggies, baked goods, and the infamous breakfast burrito. As we sipped on some delicious iced tea, we decided to pick up some fresh peaches and make our way to another part of town for lunch. After the deli, we headed to a couple book stores. Now, for two ladies that love to read, this can be a little dangerous. We were both successful in finding books for our classrooms. It is so easy to get lost in the world of books. Then, we headed to Von Maur and while browsing, Mom found a cute top for her upcoming vacation. All in all, it was a great day; however, we were both in agreement that it was slightly tiring. I just love my mom.

All I could think of the past few days was that scene from Step Brothers where Will Ferrell and Adam McKay want to make bunk beds so they will have more room for "activities." If you have seen the movie, you are giggling right now. If not, watch it. Here's a little taste.

It's a Panther State

I just got home from a mini-vacation at my best friend's place. She lives only two and a half hours away, but in the midst of life, sometimes it's difficult to chisel out the time. But boy am I glad I did. Right now, the Iowa weather couldn't be more perfect - 80s and sunny. Ugh, why do people from the midwest always talk about the weather!?! I guess I'm guilty. At any rate, it was perfect for laying out at the pool, karaoke, golfing, wineries, and grilling. Yea, we fit a lot into two days! It was so great. I'm still smiling.

As we drove around to all of our destinations, I couldn't help but notice the amount of cars with Panther license plates and decals. Obviously, there were more Hawkeye ones, but I can spot a UNI fan or alum a mile away. I suppose it's just a glorious gift I've been given. If people are wearing purple and gold, I seriously get a little happy. Am I a weirdo? Wait. Don't answer that.

It's a running "debate" that Iowans have had and will always have: Are you a Hawkeye or a Cyclone? If you grew up in my family, "Cyclone" is a curse word. Literally, my brother won't let my sister and I date ISU fans. Some may think this is strange, but he just calls it dedication. Gotta love him... but not his Iowa flag that hangs from his car on game days (that's a little much, I'd say).

So, where do the Panthers fit in? Well, that's the beauty of it. You can't hate a Panther fan. It's not like they are a huge threat to Iowa or ISU. While some tend to belittle UNI, I just say we are "small, but mighty." Plus, TC ('The Cat') is one of the best mascots around.

I could spend all day talking up UNI, but all you really need to remember is that deep down it's a Panther State. Whoop, whoop!!

Why I Teach

I was vacuuming the other day (one of my favorite past times), and I was thinking about being a new teacher. Upon reflection of my first year, I often think that my students learned next to nothing. My dad told me last fall, "First year teachers are awful." Because I know him, I realize he said this as a fact, not to hurt or scare me. I spent some time with my parents (both are teachers) the other day, and I explained to them how I felt like a total scatterbrain. I mean, those kids had to think I was a nutcase. Passing in the hallway, they probably said, "Ms. Nelson is all over the place today. It's not hard to get her off subject." And sure enough, we were probably talking about Eric Church's latest album. For the record, I did teach... and I'm 98% sure they learned something. 

I have come to realize that if you don't teach, you have no idea what we do. I pretty much want to strangle anyone that says elementary teachers just "play with kids all day." And I know I want to dropkick anyone that mentions how we get the summers off. If only those people understood all the work that goes into teaching. The tactics, strategies, and lesson plans that it takes to pry open the brains of students are endless. 

While this may sound like I'm complaining or justifying my actions, but I'm not. In fact, it is so far from that. I love teaching. I really don't know how else to say that. It is one of the most rewarding, complicated, and exciting professions anyone could go into. There are days when teachable moments happen and other days where I feel like I could fall asleep on my desk. Some days the kids stare at me like I'm going to do a trick, while other days they are fully engaged. 

So, why do I teach? There is no simple answer, but here a few reasons:

1. Do what you love, love what you do. I realize that when people start talking about teaching, my ears perk up. I get excited. I smile. I feel compelled to share my own stories and thoughts. Right now, as I write this, I am grinning like a goofball. I just love it, and I think my students can sense that. 

2. Reading and writing are my passion. Yep, nerd alert. Last year, there were times when I would drop anything to find a kid a book to read. I ordered books from Amazon. I checked books out of the public library. I just really want kids to love reading. As for writing, it is vital. Few really enjoy writing, but people are better writers than they believe. Finding that inner writer is a matter of letting each student tell his or her story. Everyone's story is important. 

3. Kids are hilarious. I mean, seriously. The simple, honest comments that they make often stop me in my tracks. Society sheds a negative light on kids, but that couldn't be more wrong. Kids are so cool. Just listen to them sometime.

4. Teachable moments. For those of you that teach, you totally get this. If you don't, these are the times when everything just works out so perfectly. When I was teaching To Kill a Mockingbird, this happened several times. The students had a lot to say about "walking in someone else's shoes." It was neat to just sit back and listen. 

5. No words for this one: 

The Company We Keep

There are times when I am highly indecisive. Sometimes I annoy myself. Just make a decision already, Anna! I would like to think I am not the other one that struggles with this from time to time.

The other day, I was contemplating what to do. Should I stay in and get a good night's rest or go out with friends? I was tired and found it best to just lay low. I remember talking it through with a girlfriend and deciding it was "healthier" for me to watch a movie and pass out before 9 p.m.

Sometimes I kick myself for placing myself in these "unhealthy" situations. I'm talking about those situations when I find myself swearing, being crude, and judgmental. I go home wishing I would have acted in a better light. Once again, showing me that I am far from perfect.

Later, I shared my despair with my mom. I tried to understand why I would even place myself around people that didn't bring out the best in me. Why am I so weak that I start acting like a different person so quickly? She helped me understand that many times it's good to be in those situations. If we always shelter ourselves and stay around "safe" people, then we will never grow. The fact is, it's not realistic to only be in "healthy" places.

I more recently went out with girlfriends and tried to have a different attitude. I was more conscious of my words and actions. No, I wasn't a total buzzkill. I was still Anna. I was still able to laugh, joke, and have a good time, but I found myself in a better place. Instead of going along with the group, I made comments that I believed in. For instance, someone made a crude comment that really got to me. It was slightly derogatory, and while I wouldn't ever participate in this conversation, normally I would be much more passive. The other night, however, I felt compelled to say something. I wasn't rude and I didn't make things uncomfortable. I simply wanted that person to hear me.

The fact is, we don't always choose the company we keep. What we can control is our own actions. I want to be a light in every situation I place myself in. I want to respect and care about others. The best way to do this is to listen, smile, and believe in the good in people.

Love the Unknown

I was going through my Bible yesterday evening. I love the notes that are shoved in the delicate pages. I love the doodles, various markings, and highlighted passages. These give it character; they show that it is mine. 

In the front cover I found some post-it notes with quotes from the book Blue Like Jazz. It is an account written by Donald Miller about how he revolved into a Christian. I really enjoyed reading it because of all of the "golden nuggets" I found along the way. It has actually since been made into a movie, so you should check it out!

"There are things you cannot understand, and you must learn to live with this. Not only must you learn to live with this, you must learn to enjoy this."

Wow. 

I am a planner, so I like to know everything in advance. I am a girl, so I like to analyze why someone acted a certain way or why a situation played out the way it did. Of course, I can't read minds. I don't know why bad things happen. I don't know why good things happen. God does. It's comforting, and because of this comfort, we can learn to enjoy the unknown. 

Another thought from a Bible excerpt based on Romans 8:28:

"God does work out all things - not just isolated incidents - for our good. This does not mean that all that happens to us is good. Evil is prevalent in our fallen world, but God is able to turn it around for our long-range good. Note that God is not working to make us happy, but to fulfill his purpose."

Trust. 

Time

I just finished the memoir Signs of Life by Natalie Taylor. I smiled, cried, and found myself relating to so many different aspects of her story. This is kind of crazy because she loses her husband in a freak accident while pregnant with their first child. None of these events are close to the stories in my life; however, her words still seemed to strike chord with my emotions.

As I read the final chapters, she wrote about the pace of life and how people view time.

"I am beginning to see that people my age and younger have no sense of time. Women think a year is a long time from engagement to wedding. We expect things to happen overnight. We want to be rich and famous and accomplished in the first few years out of college. We get frustrated when things don't move at an efficient pace. We curse the Internet when it takes more than ten seconds to load a website and we get annoyed that the voice mail lady takes so damn long to give us instructions... My guess is if people in their mid-twenties had any concept of time, not as many of us would be promising a lifetime to a person we met four months ago."

I know that is a lot to digest, but it couldn't be more true. We live in a fast-paced world, and patience is often hard to find. But I really think it's more than that. We can't blame technology for this one. Learning to be patient is not new to mankind.

Time is a funny thing. We want the weeks to zoom by and the weekends to stand still. We search for something we believe will never come, and when it does, it's often taken for granted in the sense that we begin looking towards something else. There is a total discontent when, in fact, we should be soaking up each moment. I know this is a very overused phrase, but I believe it's true. The times when I really take each day for what it has to offer, are when I am most content - most happy.

So, what did I take from this passage? Things don't happen overnight. We don't know what tomorrow has to offer, but we have the promise of today. Our contentment stems from making each day count, but just one at a time.

Comparison Trap

Last night, I had an interesting discussion with another girl about body image. We sat there, tearing our bodies down to each other. She didn't like that she was "soft." I explained how I wish I could "tighten up" by backside. I looked at her thinking that she was a petite, cute girl. She pointed out my muscular legs. We went through our past struggles with body image and food. It was an unexpected honest conversation. It didn't take much for either of us to open up. For some reason we didn't see each other as a threat, which was kind of cool.

When I got home, the conversation followed me. I started thinking about something I read a few years ago: "If we all threw our problems into a pile and saw everybody else's, we would grab ours back" (Regina Brett). If I threw my body in a pile and saw everyone else's, I am pretty sure I wouldn't grab mine. We are always comparing ourselves to others. "If only I had her thighs." "If only I made as much money as her." "If only my hair was thick and smooth like that woman." The list could go on forever. Have you ever stopped to think what people would want of yours? What part of your body are they admiring and secretly placing on their own? Obviously, the impact of this conversation was great because I even inadvertently dreamt about it. Crazy? Maybe.

The fact is, I have struggled with body image for the greater part of my life. I have watched my weight fluctuate for a number of reasons. While I am probably at my most healthy weight, I still struggle. It is an ongoing battle that I take on each day. I have considered sharing my story in more detail because I know that so many people could relate to it; however, I am still unsure. It would be therapeutic, but also revealing, so you can see why I still have reservations about the matter.

Until then, I have been focusing on:

!!!!

Memoir Insights

At the beginning of the summer, I created a bucket list to complete before the next school year. Part of the list included "read at least 10 books." I am nearly halfway through my fifth and feeling pretty good about it. I have yet to complete a more difficult classic, but I am having fun buzzing through some "beach novels" and young adult literature.

One of my favorite genres is memoir. I love hearing about the struggles and insights of different authors. A few years ago, I read Please Stop Laughing at Me by Jodee Blanco. I was shocked by her lifelong battle with bullying and how she has turned it around for the good. In fact, she travels across the country to speak schools, businesses, and organizations to express the importance of kindness. She has reached many people of all ages that struggle with bullying. Her story is pretty incredible.

Currently, I am reading Signs of Life by Natalie Taylor. Originally, I gravitated towards this book because the author is an English teacher, but I have been surprised by her whit and rawness. She lost her husband in a freak accident while she was 6 months pregnant. The range of emotions is vast and, in some ways, overwhelming. She makes connections with characters from novels and famous authors. Honestly, her insights are spot on. I realized the other day that we read because of these connections. We search for ourselves in the characters. We like people that are like us. I realize that Natalie and I are not going through the same situations, but I sympathize with her.

In one chapter, she relates herself to Gatsby in The Great Gatsby. As you may know, this is my favorite novel, so I was highly interested in her thoughts. Gatsby tries to recreate the past. He fell in love with Daisy years before, and as he tries to win her back, he forgets that time has changed people. Time does not go in reverse. Natalie mentions "the past, present, and future can never collide." As she grieves the loss of her husband, it is hard to not want to live in the past and fear the future. This is something we can all relate to. There are times in the past that I want to relive. Maybe it's because they were great memories, but also because I would like to do them over. Obviously, this is a waste of time and energy. We will never live in the past; we will only live in the present.

Are you rowing into the current?