Consider Your Approaches

I find this time of year amusing. People are compiling lists of "bests" and "worsts" as we draw another year to a close. We also begin to generate lists of resolutions that will ensure a better, healthier year ahead. Cue P90X & Nutrisystem informercials. To be honest, I'm all about it. There is something refreshing about the idea of a new start. As we flip our calendars, we are granted a brand new year filled with endless possibilities.

We're approaching a new year. And because of that, it's important to think about how we plan to approach it. I got to thinking about a couple of my friends and their plans for the upcoming year. I thought about how their lives will change and even compared them to my own. I didn't spend too much time bathing in these thoughts because I realize we are all different. When I ask my students to read a poem, I expect them to approach it with an open mind. I know when they walk into their math classes, they approach that format differently. Maybe it's a stretch for me to be thinking this way, but I think we need to start considering how we approach different aspects of our lives.

The one element that is going to guide me into the new year is to approach it with an open heart. I want to be open to learn new things, meet new people, and seize each opportunity that comes my way. Life is exciting, and it's not meant to be spent with a closed heart.

What's Love Got To Do With It?

It's Sunday night, and I feel relaxed. With one more week of break to enjoy, I can't help but smile as I sip on chai tea and watch football. I had a productive day starting with a freezing run, followed by church, and a few hours at Panera Bread working on a semester test for American Literature. All in a day's work!

Yesterday, my family traveled to my grandpa's house for Christmas. While we did spend time reading the Christmas story and munching on sugar cookies, most of our time was spent packing up my grandpa's things as he transitions into an assisted living facility on the other side of the state. We shared laughs as we reminisced and worked to get things in order for Grandpa. I've always been close with my grandpa. We share words and prays by way of email and even a few pieces of snail-mail. We spent ten days in Haiti building desks for schools in Pignon. While we were there, we bonded with the others and created memories that no one else but us will ever be able to understand. As Grandpa pulled me into his office to talk, I started to feel a little sad. He is going to be farther away from me than ever before, and I will miss the home that I have visited him and my grandma at for so many years. I realize it's just a house, and I can email, call, and even visit, but I couldn't help but feel a little sentimental about the whole thing.

In pure Grandpa VR fashion, he prepared a message for all of us as we sifted through the Bible and remembered the true message behind Christmas: Love. God gave his only son so that we could have eternal life. Grandpa gave each of "his girls" a Jane Seymour Open Hearts necklace along with a note explaining why... "If your heart is open, love will always find its way in." In the year 2015, I want to have an open heart. I want to be on fire for God, and show His love to everyone I meet along my journey.

This morning in church, the minister spoke about our "love priorities." Most Christians would say they prioritize love in this order: God, my family, God's people, others. In reality, it should go: God & God's people, my family, others. I would do anything for my family. If my sister called and needed me, I would drop everything to help her. Most of us can relate to this; however, would we do this for our Christian brothers and sisters? God calls us to. He calls us to love everyone as we love ourselves. It's not always easy. I mean, it's not always easy to love my own sister, but that love is unconditional. As Christians, we need to pour that love on everyone. We need to be willing to help, share, and care for others. When our hearts are open, God can pour in us; He can use us the way He has intended.

So, what's love got to do with it? Everything.

Read Some E.E. Cummings Today

Every once in a while, I read something that makes me fall in love with literature all over again. The past two weeks, my American Literature class has been studying Modernism. We've analyzed Ezra Pound, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, and E.E. Cummings. Pretty much every story I assign I preface with, "Oh guys, this is my favorite." Generally they roll their eyes and tell me I say that about everything we read. Maybe someday they'll feel the same about at least one piece of literature. 

I'm a huge fan of Fitzgerald and fully plan on naming my child -- wait, at least my pet -- after him or his wife, Zelda. His rich diction along with superb characterization make me hungry for reading more. We completed his short story "Winter Dreams" last week, and I had a student tell me, "I've always thought I like Fitzgerald, but mostly because of the movie The Great Gatsby. Now I really know that I like him." How cool is that?!? (Side note: The new movie with Leonardo DiCaprio is not worth watching.)

On Thursday, I asked the students to read through poems written by E.E. Cummings, annotate one, and bring it to class on Friday to share. Now, if you know much about Cummings, his playful way with words is kind of fun to decode. Most of his poems relate to war and sex. With that said, it was quite interesting to see what they shared. Some students chose the shortest poem they could find, others tried to shock me with something seemingly inappropriate, and all of them did an excellent job of "reading between the lines." As we read through the poems and discussed them as a group, one student said, "What if these poets don't have really any meaning behind their work, and they're just sitting around laughing at people like us dissecting every word." I must say that I've thought about this a time or two, but my teacher-self responded with, "Yeah, but that's what's so cool about literature. We can all think whatever we want, and we're all right. No one really knows what Ezra Pound was thinking when he wrote the 14 word poem "In a Station of the Metro." We are all granted the right to decide that for ourselves."

I spent some more time reading E.E. Cummings this morning, falling in love with the wonder behind his words, structure, and off-beat style. I hope my students can see the greatness of literature, and if all else fails, at least have an appreciation for how it has and will continue to impact all of us. 

Being

It goes without saying that this time of year is crazy. Between the parties, traveling, and irregular schedules, it’s easy to forget the importance of “being.”

 This was our last full week of school before coming back Monday and Tuesday to wrap up classes before break. Needless to say, chaos has taken over in more ways than. To my best ability, I’ve been teaching as normal. We are plugging along with our reading and writing; however, the focus is lacking.

During my prep, I ran across an article from Edutopia titled “What Students Remember Most About TheirTeachers.” As teachers, we run around in between classes, rush around in the morning ensuring we have enough copies, and as the students leisurely make their way into our classrooms, are we really listening to them? I know I’ve caught myself finishing up emails or cleaning up my room as students tell me about their math tests and upcoming weekend plans. Instead of listening, I am really only hearing words come out of their mouths.

I needed to read this article to remember it’s time to just “be.” Be in the present, with each student, each class. Just as the article mentions, “Because we want our students to think we’re the very best at what we do, and we believe that this status of excellence is achieved merely by doing. But we forget – and often. Excellence is more readily attained by being.

Being available.

Being kind.

Being compassionate.

Being transparent.

Being real.

Being thoughtful.

Being ourselves.”

Our students don’t remember us by lessons. Yes, they may remember that cool activity that was linked to Shirley Jackson’s short story “The Lottery,” but more than anything, they remember how we make them feel. They will remember the kind of people we are.

There is no better time than now to stop and remember why we teach, and even more importantly how we are making our students feel. They matter. Be present and listen to each story because that’s what it’s really all about.

Old Stompin' Grounds

This past weekend, I visited some friends and celebrated my sister’s birthday. As the saying goes, I traveled back to my old stompin’ grounds. I lived there for nearly eight years, and a big part of my heart will always reside there. It was in this town that I experienced heartache and growing pains. I did a lot of things wrong and found out the hard way. But more than anything, I created lasting memories that continue to leave a smile on my face. When I look back on college and the years after, I remember being surrounded by people that love me. We laughed… a lot. We cried… probably too much. We loved… oh boy, did we love.

As I reflected on the weekend, I couldn’t help but continue smiling; however, now it’s for a different reason. I smile because those memories have crafted me. While it does sound cliché, I wouldn’t be the person I am today without those memories – both good and bad. To be completely honest, it took me a long time to feel okay with memories. There seemed to be too many that hurt, and for some reason, I focused on those. As I’ve gotten older, I know that those memories are not going anywhere. Nothing is going to erase them, and that’s okay. It’s okay because I’m better because of them. It’s important not to dwell in them. Otherwise, I would be left living in the past. Instead, I will spend my time creating new memories. 

What Thanksgiving Means to Me

Happy Thanksgiving! While it's true for every holiday, this day means something different to each of us. We all have different memories connected to Thanksgiving. Whether it means putting together a backyard football team, a house full of screaming kids, or your grandma's famous pecan pie, our memories are equally special.

I am not a person that invites a lot of chaos into my life. I'm not very good with "flying by the seat of my pants." This can be difficult on days like Thanksgiving because flexibility is a must. People are coming and going, conversations are constantly flowing, and the food is everywhere. In many ways, the whole day leaves me feeling a little bit anxious; however, this anxiety is soon cancelled out by the joy my family brings me. What I love the most about Thanksgiving is the laughter. Sarcasm is the vehicle in our family, and laughter is the tool that drives it. That's how we interact, and I would have it no other way.

The days leading up to Thanksgiving, I spent time reading various quotes and verses bathed in ideas of giving thanks. A common theme was to give thanks for all things.  You may be thinking, "duh!" But, do we really do that? Are we thankful for the times when life didn't go our way? There are aspects of my life that I struggle with; am I supposed to be thankful for these battles? The answer is simple: Yes.

It's important to be thankful for everything. Those battles we fight make us who we are. The scars we carry tell the story of our past and lead us into the future. 

Have a blessed day!

What I Love About Sundays

When I was growing up, we had a pretty regular schedule each Sunday. We'd head to Sunday school followed by a service at our traditional Methodist church. After throwing on some comfy clothes, our family would have dinner (usually a roast that smelled oh-so-good!). The afternoons were lazy -- filled with homework, naps, and football. Of course, we always made it up to open gym by late afternoon. While the routine would vary each week, one thing always stayed the same -- the tempo of the day. Sundays were always a little bit slower, and I preferred it that way. Monday morning was looming in our minds, but it didn't take away from the joy of the sun peaking through the front room window as we lounged around together as a family.

As we grow up and change, our routines do the same. When I left for college, the slowness of Sunday followed me; however, this pace wasn't quite as comforting. I still attended church and threw on sweats as I studied in my dorm room. It was always so quiet -- college kids napping and, let's face it, hungover. With all the stillness came time to think -- too much time to think. I always found Sundays to be a little depressing in college. Maybe it was the feeling of being homesick. Maybe it was the lack of "normalcy." Whatever it was, I was often sad on Sundays.

Now that I am little bit more settled in life, I've created yet another Sunday routine. To be honest, I love it. Since I've never learned to sleep in, I'm usually up before the world. I workout and then sit and enjoy coffee as I write. After church, I sit at a coffee house listening to music with lesson plans, a book, or my computer. It's a time to center myself before beginning another week. I wouldn't trade this time for anything.

I know this routine will change once again as I continue to grow. But what I love most about Sundays is the stillness and slowness, and that will never change.

Those Relationships for Those Kids

I was reminded again this week of the importance of relationships. More importantly, I was forced to take a step back and listen. In the weeks before an anticipated break, it’s easy to become tired - physically, mentally, and emotionally. Kids get a little testy, and it’s difficult to not respond in the same manner. 

Every teacher knows that each year there are at least one or two of “those kids.” The kids that get under our skin - in both good and bad ways. They make you mad, sad, irritated, proud, but most of all, they challenge you. As a teacher, the issues they face, you do too. We take it home with us, wrestling with new ideas to make the situation better. 

This week, I was working with one of “those kids.” Failing grades, a less-than-desireable attitude, and swear words to top it all off. I know he has the ability to be great. While the odds are against in for more than one reason, he has the skills and knowledge. More than once this week, I sat down with him. We talked about grades, attitude, but mostly, I just listened. I’m not sure anyone ever does that, and I wanted him to know that I care. I told him that he mattered and I wanted him to succeed -- in school, but mostly, in life. We’ve gone round and round this school year. Sometimes I think it’s working, and then I get frustrated again. It’s hard work, but I keep on because I expect him to do the same. At the end of the day when my hair is flat, feet are pounding, and brain is fried, I won’t give up on him. I won’t throw him in the “helpless” pile. 

Today we worked on another assignment together. He got it done and turned in to his teacher. While there may have been some choice words along the way, it’s one more assignment down. I’m thankful that he will work for me, and I’m glad to continue building this relationship. As he walked out the door this afternoon, he said, “Have a great weekend, Nelson.” Yep, we’re getting somewhere. 

Full Heart

Teaching is a unique profession. It’s an emotional roller coaster that relies on the moods of others… not just any “others,” but in my case, teenagers. Lesson plans change. We all learn to adapt. Some days are challenging, while others seem to go on without a hitch. It’s kind of great though because every day is a new start. Each morning I am blessed the promise of a new day and so are my students.

Last year I was going through a lot of personal issues. It was hard to shake it off and teach as if everything was okay. One of my students asked what was going on. Obviously I don’t go around sharing personal issues with them, and I caught myself snipping back with, “I know it’s hard to believe, but I have problems outside of school that don’t have to do with you.” In retrospect, this probably was not the right thing to do; however, they acted much different towards me that day. They were a little bit more compassionate and stayed on task. Why did they do this? Because of the relationship that we had built as a class. 

Caring for my students has always been a priority for me as a teacher. I want them to feel safe and comfortable when they come into my room. Each of them matters and they need to realize that. I bring a lot of their issues home with me. I genuinely want each of them to succeed. Many days I leave school tired and warn out, but every day I leave with a full heart. 

A Lesson in Contentment

The end of last week was a little chaotic. I had family staying at my place for different reasons. While it was a little unexpected, I was able to spend time with my mom and brother, watch football until I was blue in the face, and enjoy a few belly laughs. Since I’ve lived alone for so long, I forget how comforting it can be to have people around.

With all of that said, by the time Sunday afternoon rolled around, feelings of discomfort began to set in. For some reason, I was feeling uncomfortable and unsettled. I drove home after church and shopping with a pounding headache. I started wishing I had an extra day in the weekend. I was sure I had a lot to do in order to get prepared for the week, but I was not in any mood to work at school or do a yoga sequence. I simply wanted to lie on the couch and feel sorry for myself. Why was in such a mood? This discontent rolled on throughout the day until I slid into bed with a book in hand.

This morning, I tried to wrap my head around those feelings of discomfort. I went for a run on the treadmill, which always helps to clear my mind. I came to school in a fairly good mood, but that “spark” just hasn’t been there today. As I sat at my computer, I was reminded of a quote from Rick Warren, “God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than he is making your life happy.”

I’m looking for comfort when maybe God is trying to stretch me; He’s trying to help me build character. Many times it’s hard to understand what God is doing… what He’s planning. Right now, it’s all pretty unclear, but I keep trusting. When things get difficult, I turn to Him for answers. And when those answers don’t come, I must learn to wait… patiently.

Limitless

My sister and I used to always talk about how we loved the phrase, "Be fearless." It's such a strong statement that allows us to dream. There is no reason to fear; we should simply live each day as it comes and embrace all it's wonder.

I was reading an article titled "Why the 'Future' is the New Swear Word for College Students" on Thought Catalog. The author discussed our culture's need to be constantly planning for the future. I see this a lot with my students (especially seniors). They have people coming at them from all angles telling them they need to apply for scholarships, start deciding on a college, and once in college, they must determine a major. It's a lot for anyone to take in, especially someone who is barely an "adult."

Why do we feel the need to plan? Why do we feel that there are time limits on when things are supposed to happen? I'm sure much of this comes from our need to fit in and the constant comparisons we make with those around us. It's easy to say that we don't care about what others think, but this simply isn't true.

What do we do when things don't go as we planned? I know I start to feel defeated. I lose sight of my purpose. Quite frankly, I throw myself a pity party and invite everyone around me. (You're welcome.) But what if I decided to take a different approach? As mentioned in the article, the future is limitless. We can dream and wonder. We can stand and face the future fearlessly, knowing that the possibilities are endless. The future doesn't have to be scary. In fact, it's anything but... it's limitless.

Thoughts That Become Words

Isn't if funny how quickly we forget? The days go by, and we forget important aspects that steer us from the happiness that we all deserve. This time change has really got me confused. I realize that I actually have gained an hour of sleep, but for some reason I'm waking up long before my alarm, leaving me sleepy and a tad bit crabby by the end of the day.

This morning I started thinking about the choices we make each day. Not just in our actions, but in our thoughts. It's so difficult, nearly impossible, to change our thoughts. Our mind wanders to places we don't want to visit. We think about the past and fret about the future. We create scenarios in our minds, most of which will never take place.

Cue self-discipline exercises. Is it possible to shift our thoughts to a "happy place?" The answer is yes, but it takes work. We must make a point to bathe in positivity rather than negative thoughts. Not only does this make our days much more enjoyable, but it makes us kinder people. You see, our thoughts become our words. Because I am a person that wrestles with self-worth, those negative thoughts become the words that I speak to myself. It's much easier for me to give someone else a compliment, as opposed to myself. I know that I'm not alone on that one. In Proverbs 18:21 it reads, "Those who love to talk will experience the consequences, for the tongue can kill or nourish life." The tongue, our words, make all the difference. We have a choice as to how we think, talk to ourselves, and talk to others. I don't know about you, but I choose happy thoughts.

Remember the Why

Mondays can be tough. You're coming off a weekend when you made your own schedule. Maybe you laid in bed and watched four Lifetime movies on Sunday (not that I've ever done that). Maybe you spent your Saturday tracking the spread of NCAA football in order to place bets with your buddies. Whatever you did this past weekend, it was your choice. But, as we all know, the weekends are short; Mondays tend to sneak up on us.

Yesterday I started thinking about the upcoming week. For some reason, I started to get excited. While it should be a pretty typical week, I just felt happy about the promise of starting fresh. The possibilities and opportunities that are in store for me -- for you -- are unknown, but endless.

Maybe my positive attitude this morning is making you want to vomit? I don't blame you. If this is the case, it may be time to remember why you started. Whatever you are about to embrace this week, remember what led you up to this point. Why did you decide to embark on this particular journey? Sometimes when I am frustrated at school, I think back to why I decided to go back to become a teacher. I remember why I was called to teach -- to allow teenagers in my classroom to share their stories. While they may not always be super excited about writing a piece of fiction or reading Edgar Allan Poe, I can encourage them to be their best selves. Each day is a new start for them, me, and you. If it's hard to get out of bed today, remember the why.

The Wind Beneath My Wings

Today is my mom's birthday! While I'm not (physically) with her today, I am throwing confetti around (figuratively) in her honor :-)

One of my favorite memories with my mom happened when I was a little girl. Her and I were sitting on the couch watching Beaches with Bette Midler. If you've ever seen the film, you know there is a point when "Wind Beneath My Wings" comes on and the waterworks begin to fall. It's truly inevitable. My mom told me that she looked over at my four-year-old self, and I was crying. She has since made the remark that she didn't realize a little girl could cry like that while watching a movie. That song, that movie belong to my mom and me.

The lyrics of that song speak much to the relationship between a mother and her daughter. Because my mom has lived longer than me, she walks a step behind as I make and learn from various mistakes. She knows just when to step in and say, "Be patient. God's got this, Anna." As we've aged, our relationship has sailed to a new level. We have our fair share of "teacher talk," and she is my accountability buddy in my faith. She is my friend. She carries my siblings and me throughout our lives, celebrating our victories and comforting our struggles. My mom is the wind beneath my wings. I love you, Mom!

Six Word Memoirs

I've been feeling kind of bummed about my lack of writing. It hasn't been because I'm too busy (man, that phrase drives me mad). It hasn't been because I've been uninspired. Maybe the problem has been I have been over-inspired -- too many ideas floating around in my brain. I suppose that is a good problem to have.

After school today, I went for a short run, savoring the last moments of nice weather. We have our regionals volleyball game tonight, so I showered up and sat down with my dinner and laptop. Because my school is on block scheduling, I had a fresh group of kids in my Creative Writing class. It's kind of cool because I will teach the course four times by the end of the year. That allows for a few more times of trial and error (but hopefully more of trial and success). I like to start the course with Six Word Memoirs. Ernest Hemingway was once challenged to write a story in just six words. He came up with: "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." Pretty powerful for just six words, and the interpretation is endless -- one of my favorite aspects of literature.

As the kids began to work, I started thinking more about my own Six Word Memoir. Before when I had taught this unit, I came up with "Eric Church, will you marry me?" Obviously, this was a little bit more of a joke (But seriously, I would marry him in a heartbeat), so I started thinking a little more deeply. "One step behind, and that's okay." Ever since I decided to go back to school to become a teacher, I've felt like things in my life have been "pushed back." The picture in my head has changed time and time again. According to my friends on Facebook and others in society (especially the midwest), I may be a little behind. As I get older and more comfortable with where I am at, I realize that it's okay. I'm not the right track for me. The steps I'm taking are forward, and I'm learning along the way.

I'm excited to read the words of my students. As they worked and I walked around talking to them, I couldn't help but think about how lucky I am to have such an incredible profession.

Sharing My Passions

In my Creative Writing class, we began studying poetry last week. At first, I was cringing this unit. Teenagers don't exactly jump up and down at the opportunity to read and/or write poems. As I started preparing, I promised myself I would make it as exciting painless as possible. Overall, I think it's gone pretty well. Tomorrow, we will begin talking about political and society based poems. Because I love history, I'm looking forward to hearing their responses to the literature. 

As I'm prepping my lesson tonight, I started reading about women's suffrage and war memorials (riveting material, I know). I started thinking about the things I feel passionate about. No, I'm not talking about my friends and family. I'm talking about worldly issues that I take to heart. I thought I would share some of my passions: 

-- Education: I suppose this is a given since I am a teacher, but it's much more than that. Yes, my career is centered around teaching students, and I do care about their grades; however, I care much more about the people they are becoming. To me, education is not just about the earned grade. It's about teaching students to become productive members of society. It's about them creating lives that are rich and full of continued learning. 

-- Women's Rights: You may not know it, but I deeply considered a minor in Women's Studies. I loved each class I took and felt empowered and passionate about equality for everyone. I'll never forget when one of my favorite professors said, "We're more alike than we are different." I hold onto that as I embrace opportunities and meet new people. 

-- Children of Haiti: After traveling to Haiti and working with the children there, I fell in love. The spirit of the people there was encouraging and contagious. They don't have much, but they care and love one another. Things aren't perfect there. Much of the people suffer from poverty and disease. Children are living in huts with very little to eat or drink. They walk miles in order to receive an education. After studying, they return home to work for their families. I met some incredible people there. I didn't speak the same language as them, but there is one language that we all speak: love.

Power of Patience

Man, this week has been crazy! I love being busy and feeling like I have a purpose. Being an organized person makes weeks like this much more bearable. However, it doesn't always matter if you're organized because some things are just out of our control. I can have post-it notes telling me what's next in my schedule or neatly printed out lesson plans; sometimes it just doesn't go as planned.

Last summer, I found a couch that not only fits my style, but will look great in my place. The arrival of this couch has been in the back of my mind since I purchased it (in July). It was scheduled to be delivered mid-September. You guessed it; it's not here yet. I received a call telling me that there was an issue with the manufacturer and it wouldn't be in my living room until November. While I felt discouraged and bummed out, I knew that it was out of my control. Not only that, but it was out of control of the person on the other end of the phone. They could sense my disappointment and thanked me for being understanding. Because I didn't yell, kick, and scream, they sent me a gift certificate in the mail (very minimal, but yea, it's something). :-)

Just today, I was excited to get school work done during my planning period, run a few errands after school, and go to the football game this evening. Yesterday was payday, and something went wrong with my deposit. I've been looking forward to receiving this paycheck because it's the first one at my new school (and significantly higher). After an afternoon of shuffling around along with calls and emails to my HR person, I had a check in my hands. I wasn't able to get my school work done, but it all got figured out. This change of plans made me think a lot about being patient. It would not have been the end of the world if this didn't get figured out today. Am I thankful it did? Absolutely. I recognized that things were going to work themselves out. It didn't matter if I threw a fit or if I took it step-by-step; therefore, why not be the understanding one and trust that it would all work out?

I'm not sharing this with you to shed a good light on myself, but rather to think about patience and understanding. Evaluating a situation's significance, and how do I say it? .... taking a 'chill pill,' things will all work out. Yes, that's the power of patience.

Off to cheer on the Golden Hawks!

Staying Hopeful

Yesterday one of my co-workers made the comment, "It's time for a weekend." I was feeling tired and worn-down, so I nodded in agreement. It wasn't a particularly good or bad week. It was just long and full. In fact, mid-week, I made my way to Des Moines for a concert with friends. This may sound a little crazy, but we bought the tickets early last spring. Plus, it was Eric Church, and I would do nearly anything for him (maybe a slightly extreme comment). A good country concert is one of my favorite things. It was so much fun, and I couldn't stop smiling as I sang along with some of my best friends. It felt great to see them and was a wonderful escape from reality.

I planned on going home this weekend to spend time with family, but after traveling to DSM and feeling behind in school work, I decided against it. After a good night's sleep and a slow-moving Saturday morning, I'm pleased with my decision. I've been drinking coffee and casually reading. (Like, for fun... not for school!) Best of all, I've got college football playing in the background.


This year, I haven't had to commute, which is awesome. When I drove on Wednesday, I was taken back to those times on the road where I could think, listen to music, think, talk on the phone, and think. I can't say I miss driving (or filling up my gas tank), but it was nice to spend some time with my own thoughts. Every once in a while, I start to get anxious about the future because there are so many aspects that I'm unsure about. While I was driving, that wasn't the case. I realized that I have a lot to be happy about. Even more than that, I have a lot to be proud of. Just five years ago I would have never imagined this would be my life, but things have a funny way of falling into place. Do I still wonder? All the time, but I also trust that it will be okay.

Meanwhile, I think it's important not to sit around and let life happen to me. We are all in charge of day-to-day happiness. This must be a choice we make. We can't leave it all to fate. This is one of my new revelations, so I'm learning what aspects of life I have to let go and others that I need to react to. Life can be so complicated, but if we take it one day, one decision at time, it doesn't seem as overwhelming. Stay hopeful.

Cheerleaders

As the school year rolls on, I'm beginning to find my place. Each day I learn a new procedure, a new face. I've always been an advocate for lifelong learning and teaching others to realize that there are opportunities each day to grow. It's truly a blessing to have a hand in the education of others.

I've been thinking about the different roles people play in our everyday lives. Especially as a volleyball coach, I see how important each person is on a team. It's the same in the classroom -- even more so, in life. While it may be hard to see, the group wouldn't strive without each person fulfilling the duties in each role.

One of the most difficult roles to play is the cheerleader. You aren't necessarily in the spotlight and often get overlooked, but this role is crucial for success. Without the motivation coming from that cheerleader, there is a definite hole in the team. On the flip side, the cheerleader's job can be difficult in times of struggle. It's hard to stay positive when the going gets tough, but it's oh-so important.

I decided today would be a good day to acknowledge all the cheerleaders in my life. When is the last time you thanked a cheerleader?

One Step at a Time

Maybe it's the football or the fact that I'm wearing a sweatshirt, but it's finally feeling like fall! While today is a Saturday, it started off much like any other school day. We had a volleyball tournament, and the bus arrived sharply at 7:30. The girls were bubbly and ready to go, and it was looking to be a good day. 

It didn't take long into our first match that realized we had our work cut out for us. Today was only the third time we've suited up this season. The teams we played against were tough. As freshmen and sophomores, they are learning to do some adjusting. Not only did it take time to get used to a new coach, but many of them had never played together before. For the freshmen, adjusting to high school sports can also be a challenge. Overall, they have done a great job, and I am proud of them. It just takes time.

As we road home on the bus, I started thinking about time. I feel like I have been teaching for weeks, but it's only been twelve days. I can't believe how much we have gotten done already! Obviously, this is a good feeling, but every once in a while I get frustrated because something isn't where I want it to be. I wish I knew all the teachers better; I wish I knew which kids were related to others. That's when I have to remind myself that things take time. It takes time to "fit in." I'm not going to know everything this early on. Many of the other teachers have been at my district for nearly ten years or more. They have made connections, and they once were in my shoes. 

In many ways, my fresh/soph team and I are a lot alike. We are all learning. We are all realizing that things take time, and that's okay. 

Let's Get Personal

It seems as though recently I have been encountering people that are not followers of Christ. Obviously, not everyone I see each day has a personal relationship with Him; however, it has surprisingly come up in quite a few conversations lately. I feel like God is working through me to reach others, which is a little scary. It's evident that I don't have all the answers, but I do have strong feelings about my faith and love sharing it with others.

The idea that people have nothing to believe in seems very foreign to me. I have been wrestling with this idea of having nothing. I'm not talking about people that aren't Christians, but rather those that don't look towards anything at the end of the day. They attribute life successes to themselves, and when something goes bad, they chalk it up to karma or just having bad luck. As a Christian, I realize I can only love and respect them. And even more importantly, I can pray for them.

I was having a similar conversation with my best friend. She responded by saying that some people have times where they're lost and it just takes more time for them. Everyone is on a different path and must make these decisions individually.

"God enters by a private door into each individual." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Having a personal relationship with Christ is just that -- personal. No one can take it from you. No one can push you into it. No matter how many times you went to Sunday School as a child, it's still you're decision. It doesn't matter when it happens or what age you are. It's a personal decision and the best one I've ever made. 

(No) Labor Day

What a gorgeous day! It's been so muggy lately, and I'm finally relaxing with the windows open. It's especially nice to enjoy a lounging Sunday after a day of college football festivities yesterday. Finally, it's starting to feel like fall.

My weekend began after a pretty great week at school. I'm thoroughly enjoying my new schedule filled with new classes and students. I'm still adapting to new procedures, but it truly feels like I have been teaching these kids for weeks. We are getting to know one another, and it reminds me that my job is awesome. Friday night after volleyball practice, I went to the football game with a friend. I am working on getting to know people and immersing myself in the community.

As I mentioned, I watched football with a bunch of friends yesterday. It was a long day, but we had a pretty good time; however, I woke up feeling tired -- both emotionally and physically. I made my way home and decided to go for a run to clear my mind. I started thinking about how important it is to take time to be alone and still. If I take a certain loop on my run, I end up under a tree overlooking the golf course. It's the perfect spot to pray and just soak it all in. Today, I especially needed to think a few things through.

On this Labor Day weekend, it's important that we all relax and enjoy moments of stillness.

Back At It

I have successfully completed my first week of school! It's difficult putting all of my emotions into words. When anyone asked me how things went, my simple response has been, "I think really well." Pretty vague, huh?!?

As you can imagine, the week was quite busy between the kids being back in the classroom and coaching volleyball. It's made it hard to chat with my friends on the phone, but when I finally had the chance to talk to my best friend on Friday night, I could feel her smiling through the phone. She said she was happy knowing that I am busy and happy. She went on to say, "I just know you're in the right place." After thinking more about that today, I couldn't have said it better myself.

I have been welcomed by my new district with open arms. People have offered advice and gone out of their way to make me feel at home. My confidence in the classroom has sky-rocketted. I wanted to come in to this year firm, yet still fun. As many teachers will tell you, this is one of the hardest part of our job (at least I think). If you control the behavior issues, the focus can be on the content. Speaking of content, I'm so excited for my new classes and curriculum. This is my first time with block scheduling, and I think I will really like it. We have so much more time to read, write, discuss. We don't have to rush, and in English, this is more important than you might think. We can give justice to the piece of literature being study. We can spend time perfecting the writing process. It's awesome.

More than anything, it feels amazing to be in the classroom again. Over the summer, it's easy to lose sight of my purpose. I feel alive again when I'm teaching. It's wonderful to be back at it.

The Blame Game

It's so easy to place blame on someone else. The past few days have been spent preparing for the upcoming school year. I've visited with colleagues, written lesson plans, and sat in a few a lot of meetings. The administration has put together inspirational chats and videos, we've talked about procedures, and gotten to know each other. Overall, it has been a lot, but it's necessary.

On one of the first days of professional development, my superintendent talked about placing blame on other people. If something goes wrong in our classrooms or even in the district, it's easy to start pointing fingers. All the students weren't proficient in reading (nearly impossible), so we look to the 1st grade team. Joe Shmoe can't figure out an algebraic equation, and we begin to wonder what is happening in the junior high classrooms. Obviously, it can't by my fault.

What if instead of placing blame, we took responsibility? Even further, what if we addressed the issue and tried to make it better. I read a devotion this morning from Debbie Griffith. She talked about blaming and how we often follow up apologies with a BUT. "I'm sorry, BUT you really upset me." By adding the BUT, we don't even hear the apology, mostly because it loses it's meaning. What if we stopped right after the apology? "I'm sorry."

This "blame game" is toxic. Pointing a finger at someone else doesn't make the problems go away. It doesn't make me feel better. We are imperfect sinners. God forgives us, and we need to do the same for those around us.

This Is Why I Teach

I couldn't have said it better myself...

This Is Why I Teach by Grete DeAngelo

Trust New Beginnings

Tomorrow is my first day of school... at least for teachers. We have about a week of professional development before the kids come next Wednesday. My emotions are all over the place tonight Mostly, I'm excited, but also nervous and anxious about all of the changes. There will be new procedures to learn, lots of new names to memorize, and getting back into a routine takes time. Deciding to help coach volleyball has been great. I have been able to meet kids and be a part of the school before the school year even begins. I can already tell that this school is going to be a great fit for me. I'm excited to teach a new group of kids.

While my mind feels like it's all over the place, I have decided to trust new beginnings.

Tomorrow I will start something new. I will embrace each moment, live each day as it comes, and enjoy that God has placed me here. I know it's all for a reason, and I'm excited for the magic that will come in this new beginning. Wish me luck!

Teacher Goals

With the first day of school only days away, I've been thinking about growth and goal-setting. It's common for teachers to ask students to set goals for the year, but I started wondering if teachers are doing the same thing. Personally, I have ideas floating around in my head, but I don't think I've ever written them down. I have high hopes for the year. I feel stronger and more confident in my teaching abilities, and I hope that shows as I step into the classroom.

In many ways, I'm starting fresh -- new district, new classes, new students, new faculty. All of the "newness" is a little overwhelming, but it's also refreshing. I know the areas that I need to improve as a teacher. It's up to me to set goals, and more importantly, become a stronger teacher. 

So, what do I want for this year? 

-- A Rigorous Classroom. This begins with knowing content inside and out. It takes work, but it's important to feel as though I have mastery in my field in order to expect my students to grasp what I am teaching. This will probably be my biggest challenge because the English/Language Arts field is vast. 

-- To Help Students Find a Voice. I always talk about giving students a chance to tell their story, but it's more than that. By telling their stories, they are able to find a voice. They are given a chance to figure out who they are and who they want to become. 

-- To Build Relationships. I want my students to feel comfortable and safe in my classroom. I realize as a teacher, I am more than the person that grades their papers. I am a mentor, which is both exciting and scary. It's always been my favorite part of teaching; however, there is a lot of pressure holding the title of "teacher."

-- To Inspire. I love learning and have a thirst to find out more. I want to inspire my students to feel the same way. I want them to get excited about learning (a tall order to fill -- especially at the secondary level). 

-- To Balance School and Personal Life. I didn't do a very good job of this last year. I need to be a teacher, but I also need to be a person. I deserve to build relationships outside of school. I need a better balance, and I'm hoping my location allows for this. 

That seems like a lot, but I'm motivated. With a lot of prayers and a good attitude, I believe this is possible. Happy weekend!!

A Part of Something Beautiful

Yesterday, the school that I've taught at for the last two years won the state baseball championship. It was a very special moment for the boys, coaches, school, and communities. It was special for many reasons. The team finished a perfect season (36-0) on a perfect summer day at Principal Park. The crowd sported blue and white and shouted as the boys battled for the title they've been dreaming of all season. Last summer, one of their teammates was killed in a car accident. They vowed to be the first team in the school's history to win state in his honor while his twin brother wore his number proudly. As the team celebrated on the field, it was hard not to get a little choked up. So awesome. I was so happy to be a part of something so beautiful.

I'm sure the boys are still pinching themselves this morning. As their teacher for the last two years, I couldn't be more proud. Not just of the boys, but the fans from communities all around. People believed in the boys, and they proved everyone right. They worked hard, showed character on and off the field -- something that is hard to find. With the help of an amazing coaching staff, they were able to build a talented team that will never be replaced. Something beautiful.

This morning, I realized it's all bittersweet. While the people at my old school are still celebrating, I've realized that was my "last" with that district. Will I go back? Who knows. Will I keep in contact with teachers and students? Probably. This week I begin a new journey at a new district. I am anxious to begin but also feeling a little nervous. I'm thankful for being a part of something so beautiful yesterday, and I'm looking forward to building those moments in the future.

Author Reading

My sister and I attended our first "Author Reading" at a local book store. The author, Heather Gudenkauf, has been one of my favorites for quite a while. As an Iowa native, her stories evolve in small towns around the state. Not only are her novels captivating, she has a way of making me feel like the characters are my best friends. When reading her novels, I find myself in a constant struggle between wanting to savor the words and needing to know the ending. Needless to say, I completed her most recent book in one day. I just couldn't stop. 

Just like her novels, I was captivated by her words as she spoke freely about her background as a reader and writer. I felt like I could really connect with her. She is an educator and discussed the importance of teaching kids to love to read. Having books of all genres at their disposal can make a huge difference. Being a reader is imperative in order to be a writer. 

She also talked about the writing process and characterization. She develops characters first -- it's almost as if they become real people to her. Then, the story follows. I found this information both interesting and helpful. I am excited to take this into the classroom as I teach Creative Writing in just a few weeks. 

It was a great experience to attend an "Author Reading." I would encourage anyone to find time to do so. It's given me a creative boost as I head into a new school year!

Hiding Behind Words

Writing can be challenging and even problematic at times. As a person that enjoys writing, it's easier for me to put my words down on paper before I speak. It's easier to articulate. I'm able to erase, change, and rearrange. This flexibility makes writing a blessing and a curse. It's hard to find "perfection" when given the ability to continue changing.

There is also the problem of a ghost writer. Are there more people behind the name that is stamped on the piece of writing? I remember sitting around with my girlfriends contemplating how I should respond to a text I was about to send to a guy. We twisted words and phrases in order to make sure it was just perfect. After all, we wouldn't want the receiver to get the wrong idea. I always wondered if guys did that too; my guess would be no.

In the digitally-charged world that we live in, it's easy to hide behind words. We can send a text rather than call. We can write an email instead of talking face-to-face. It's getting harder to know when it's appropriate to communicate in certain ways. Sometimes it's obvious (don't break-up over a text). Other times it's more difficult (call if you have a person issue to discuss). Now, I'm not the etiquette queen, but I do think we need to be a little bit more considerate when communicating about personal issues. It's easy to hide behind words. But, do we want to sacrifice someone's feelings just because it's "too hard" to have a conversation face-to-face? If you ask me, it's cowardly. Instead of hiding behind words, consider others. Consider how you come across in an email. After all, what isn't personal to you may be to someone else.

Coming-of-Age

In English class, we discuss characterization. The two main types of characters are dynamic vs. static. A dynamic character undergoes major changes throughout a story. Think of characters in a great coming-of-age novel (Scout from To Kill a Mockingbird or Gene from A Separate Peace). These characters learned something; they changed in one way or another. On the contrary, a static character doesn't necessarily make any significant changes. Of course, this person adds to the story, but a big change in his or her storyline is rare.

Why the literature lesson? Well, I have been thinking a great deal about change. A lot of "characters" in my life have been going through significant changes this past summer. None of them are bad, but different. I view them as dynamic characters. Other people in my life have endured little change (my "static characters"). Does that make them less important? Absolutely not. It takes all characters to make up a story.

The coolest thing about viewing all these changes by way of coming-of-age novel is that it leads me to believe that we will be learning something soon. Those of us that are making significant changes will soon be on the other side of it all; we will be able to make sense of all the madness.

I must say, I would rather be in a coming-of-age novel than a dystopian novel where we walk around a deserted island eating pigs and losing our minds (aka The Lord of the Flies), wouldn't you?