Break the Chain

I’m on the treadmill the other morning, minding my own business, when I see a man with chains around his neck... like, big chains. This scenario is strange for more than one reason.

First, he’s old. I commend those that continue to workout throughout their lifetime, and I plan to do so myself. However, this dude is weird. He wears tight Under Armor and toe shoes… and he’s pushing 65.

 

Sweaty little toesies

Secondly, he’s “working it” on the elliptical with huge chains around his neck. I definitely did a double take when I notice him huffing and puffing with his eyes closed. Dang, he must have really been feeling the burn. 

So, I did a little research. Extra weight adds more resistance. Putting massive chains around your neck seems like a logical way to get more results… if you’ve lost your mind. People look ridiculous walking around the gym with chains.

I’m going to break the chain and stick with dumbbells.   

Unnecessary Dumbness

Break time for me consists of catching up the latest celeb news. What can I say; it’s my (not so) guilty pleasure. If you ever need a “phone a friend” on the entertainment buzz, I’m your girl.

As I was cruising along today, I find an article about the amount of spending that occurs among Hollywood’s teenagers. When I was Miley’s age, my mom gave me a $20 bill and sent me out the door. That would pay for one of her fingernails to get polished. Dis-gust-ing.

Let me preface this next section by saying, I hate “Family Guy.” I don’t understand why the dog talks and the baby swears. It’s just not funny to me. Dumb.

Apparently Justin Beiber (whom I adore) just bought a $25,000 ruby and diamond pendant shaped like Stewie from “Family Guy.” Are you for real, Beibs??? I mean, not only is this ugly, but completely unnecessary.

This is more than just “teens being teens.” This is just plain unnecessary dumbness.

Song Suicide

 So, you’re standing at the gas station in front of the fountain pop machine. What to get, what to get? If you were anywhere near the age of twelve, you’d go for them all. In other words, the infamous “suicide” soda. A hodge podge of sugary syrups don’t sound as appetizing as they did when I was in middle school.

The other morning, I heard a little “song suicide.” This is not a hodge podge of songs rolled into one. If you know anything about music, you know that is called a “remix.”

So what am I talking about? “Summer Girls” by LFO. I had forgotten all of the randomness that takes place in this song. Taking it all the way back to 1999, here’s a taste of the lyrics…

“New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits. Chinese food makes me sick….” “When you take a sip, you buzz like a hornet. Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets….” “You love Fun Dip and Cherry Coke. I like the way you laugh when I tell a joke…”

It’s like the writers of this song sat down and thought, “What rhymes? Okay, let’s put them all in one song.” Like I said, a “song suicide.” I also love that he calls William Shakespeare, Billy.

LFO, I would love to “shake and wiggle to a hip hop song” with all three of you cutie patooties. 

Fanny Remix

These words came out of my mouth the other day: “I think I want a fanny pack.” Not even a second later, I got the “are you serious?” eyes from Kyle. Needless to say, my idea was shot down.

I’m not talking about this fanny pack:

I’m talking about one to take biking or even on a long run. And much more stylish:

Let’s consider the perks of a fanny pack:

First of all, it’s convenient. I would be able to put my keys, cell phone, chapstick… maybe even a couple of bobby pins in there. The possibilities are endless.

Secondly… um… well, I can’t really say style. So… do I need another reason? Nope. I just want one. Period. 

Variety Show

Mix it up. Stir it up. Shake it up. Variety is a good thing people. In order for me to keep my sanity, I need to make sure that I add a little variety to my life… all parts of my life.

I have a bad habit of finding something yummy to eat, and then eating it over and over again. Is it really normal to eat the same type of cereal for every meal for an entire week? I suppose it’s cheap, but it’s pretty boring. So, I need to make sure to add some Cinnamon Toast Crunch to the mix every once and a while. What can I say? Sugar tastes good in the morning.

So, here’s what I’ve been thinking. I wish there was a variety pack of pop. We all know how much I love Diet Dr. Pepper, but time and time again I crave a Diet Coke or even a Diet 7 Up. This girl needs a variety pack of soda. Please inform me if this is a possibility. Thank you.

The Language of a Teacher

MAP testing (not a geography lesson). IPI Training (still trying to figure this one out). BLT meetings (not a delicious sandwich). Teachers love acronyms. I have been learning so many different passwords, codes, and shortened versions of about everything under the sun. I know they say you should never have the same password for more than one account, but my memory is fading by the second.

Acronyms have never been my thing. I completely understand the purpose of them; however, not everyone thinks on the same level. I remember a time in high school when I was driving along with some friends when we came across a yellow sign that read: DIP. In my brain, I was expecting an acronym. In everyone else’s mind, I looked like an idiot when I blurted out, “What’s ‘D’ ‘I’ ‘P’ stand for?” It was one of those moments when you are being so sincere, and you are so wrong. Just remember, my hair is no longer blonde, but I’m still allowed to have these moments.

I suppose I must get used to acronyms being a part of my life. After all, they are necessary when speaking the language of a teacher.  

Just So Shushable...

I know I shouldn’t be surprised to see strange things in public places. Last night, I went to the public library. Now, I’ve had quite a lot of interesting encounters there. Mostly of people zonked out and drooling. Apparently sleeping in the library is contagious, because that place makes me heavy-eyed.

I was searching for a children’s book to use as a writing prompt in one of my classes; therefore, I was in the land of picture books. Even though it was later in the evening, there were plenty of kids around.

Picture this: an older librarian, re-shelving books, and shushing… over and over and over. First of all, these are kids. They have no idea how to be quiet. Secondly, stop being weird. No one even hears a shush anymore. We have become immune to, “shhhhhh!!!!”

To all of my Nickelodeon lovers out there, remember “All That.” It was similar to a teenage “Saturday Night Live.” Man, I thought it was the greatest thing ever. The shushing incident reminded me of this:

What can I say? Kids are just so shushable. 

You've Been Grammar Punked

I’m not trying to be a grammar witch, but sometimes I just don’t understand why English is so difficult for some people. I get that the difference between “further” and “farther” can be a little hard to distinguish. I also know that comma usage gets sticky in some circumstances. But there are a few things everyone should understand about grammar and writing.   

1. There is a time and place for “slang” and “jargon” writing. I’m sorry, but “ur” in a paper/email/assignment is just not going to fly. This is not facebook or a text message you are sending your “baby girl.” Figure out how to filter shorthand, emoticons, lingo, and abbreviations. Consider your audience.

2. Use (and be smart about) your resources. Spell check and other writing tools are designed for a reason… to be used. Researching and figuring out the proper usages of words is easier than ever. The internet is literally in our back pocket. Use it.

3. Consider how you sound. I hope I’m not the only one that doesn’t like to sound like an idiot when I speak and write. I know that I make mistakes, but I try to be conscious of my writing and speaking skills. Have you ever heard someone that sounds like they went to school in a barn? Strive to not be like that.

Last, but not least, “irregardless” is not a word. It’s “regardless.” Thank you.

Now you have all been grammar punked. Have a nice day. 

Morning Mover

I’ve always been a morning person. Ever since I started running my senior year of high school, I have done my workouts right when I wake up. My body feels light, and my mind is clear. The mornings are generally quite and peaceful.

Now that I am student teaching, I have to be at school quite early. Instead of changing my running routine to the afternoons, I wake up early… and I mean before 5:00 a.m. early. You can call me crazy; I don’t care.

Yesterday morning I was running with the stars. It feels kind of crazy running in the “morning” and being able to point out The Big Dipper. While I was pondering this, I questioned when night ends and morning begins. In my mind, anything before 4:00 a.m. is night. People who wake up at 3:30 a.m. have just woken up in the middle of the night. Go back to bed… catch a few more zzz’s.

I will forever be a part of the “early to bed, early to rise” crowd. And, I am proud to say I will always be a morning mover. 

Three's a Crowd

Too many hands in the cookie jar. Too many cooks in the kitchen. While collaboration is necessary in life, sometimes it is just too much. People bouncing ideas off of one another can be great for brainstorming, but what happens when it is decision time? I will tell you what happens. Feelings get in the way. No one wants to step on anyone else’s toes. We want to try and incorporate all of the good ideas, when the fact is, we can’t.

So what happens to the good ideas that get thrown out the window? Are they all sent to good idea land to play with one another? If so, I would like a ticket to that place.

Individual decision-making is difficult for me. It can be deciding between Fareway and Hyvee or how I want to spend my paycheck. I’ve never learned to “go with the flow.” Therefore, I ponder and ponder and ponder.

However, when decision-making involves others I decide fast. It drives me nuts people don’t just figure it out and move on. We don’t need to contemplate for 45 minutes where we are going to eat on a Saturday night. Because, in reality, it doesn’t even matter. Or during meeting, I don’t find it necessary to hear everyone’s two cents on every issue. Some people just need to lock it up. (Was that harsh?)

On our trip to Chicago, Ashley shared that she believes “three’s a crowd.” After thinking this through, she could not be more right. 

Read it, Roll it, Hole it

Last weekend my friend, Ashley, and I sold raffle tickets at a golf tournament. I grew up playing, watching, and learning to love golf. It is a complex game full of rules, annoyances, and etiquette. Once you’ve perfected your short game, your drives start slicing and your 5 iron continues to shank the tiny dimpled ball. Frustrating and fun all at the same time.

I was on my high school golf team, and rules tests were mandatory each year. It was important to represent our team, our school, and ourselves in a respectable manner. How many penalty strokes for a water hazard? What happens if you hit the wrong ball? What is the procedure when a ball goes out of bounds? And the list goes on. So much to remember! Then there is the “no swearing” rule, which is impossible to abide by. 

I also know the importance of dressing appropriately on the golf course. Therefore, I was surprised to see one of the groups without shirts on. That’s right, their bare backs putting on the green. I know how disturbing tan lines can be, but a golf course doesn’t resemble a swimming pool.

Next time you hit the links, consider these (minimal) slices of etiquette:

Shut your mouth. This doesn’t mean that you can’t have fun. It doesn’t mean that you can’t get excited when knock the socks off your ball. It means, don’t be rude when others are swinging. Pay attention, that’s all.

Replace your divots. Oh… my… goodness. This drives me crazy. No one wants to see a course full of holes. Otherwise, it will start to look like “Chuck Rodent” from Caddyshack got a piece of the tee box.

Don’t drive like an idiot. I know a lot of golf carts have all the bells and whistles, which are tempting to play with. But, golf carts are not small race cars.

Be smart. Wear a seatbelt ;-)

To all of my fellow golfers: be careful out there. And if all else fails, “read it, roll it, hole it.”

(Did you notice any of my golf puns??)

Must Be Something In The Water

I woke up with a zit this morning. I know that I shouldn't be too alarmed, but it took me back to a dark place. Adolescence.

The first real zit that appeared on my face was in 5^th grade. This gigantic whitehead landed right on the tip of my nose. In other words: impossible to cover up. I longed for a metal shield to guard myself from my peers.

The pesky red bump remained on my face over Christmas vacation. I remember my grandpa telling me not to pick my face. How embarrassing. This was also the time when I learned that you could, and were supposed to, pop zits. I will spare you all the gross details, but that baby was full of… well… grossness.

Since then I’ve learned how to control such instances. Compared to others, my acne is hardly a problem. I did try Proactive at one point. Man that stuff zapped any zit right off my face. It also stained all of my towels, leading me to wonder what exactly is in the product.

I’m not going to let this one little pimple ruin my day; however, I do wonder where it came from. Now that I am surrounded my teenagers, do you think it’s contagious? Is there something in the water around here? If so, I’m stocking up on bottles of Evian.

Lunch Lady Land

Today I revisited a scary place… the lunchroom. That’s right, this girl snagged a tray and ventured to the land of burritos and taco “meat.” Now, don’t get too worked up. It just so happens that my school has a nice little salad bar. I was able to pile up veggies and pair them will a couple of slices of watermelon. It was pretty filling and tasty enough to fulfill my appetite.

As I marched through the line, I couldn’t help but think of my school lunch experiences growing up. School lunches are hard to forget, especially the more unusual foods.

Have you ever wondered about the guidelines for school menus? For instance, why is chili always served with an ooy gooy cinnamon roll? And what in the world is a “shrimp popper?” My school growing up always placed a PB sandwich along side a slice of greasy pizza. Can you say carb overload? And we always had “bunny food” as the vegetable. A pretty perfect name for carrots and celery, assuming no kid did more than nibble on them.

But the most unforgettable was the Chili Crispito. Processed “meat” paired with gobs of cheese in a fatty tortilla shell. What were we thinking? I mean, we actually ate this. And so many other kids went up for seconds. Barf!

For the most part, my experiences in lunch lady land have left me without an appetite for dinner.   

Easy Peasy, Lemon Squeezy

Fellow test takers!! Maybe it’s been a while, but I’m sure we all can remember some sort of test that we had to take. ACT, spelling, multiple-choice, and the list goes on.

After taking my ACTs in high school, all my parents could say was, “Anna, we know you aren’t a ‘test taker.’” Which meant, “That was a horrible score, but we still know you are a smart girl.” Honestly, I have no hurt feeling by that, because I know that my strength is not sitting down and taking a test. I am much better at speaking and writing. That’s why I loved being able to choose college courses that focused on those types of assessments.

With that being said, there have been a few tests in my day that have gone pretty smooth. I can remember coming out of a classroom thinking, “Man, that was easy!”

Which leads me to this question: Were those tests easy, or did I just know the material better?

Saying something is easy really discredits the fact that we are smart people. We are able to learn and figure things out by our experiences. This gift of easiness actually comes from lots of hard work.

Remember to enjoy the times when things are easy peasy, lemon squeezy. 

You Know Your a Teacher When...

I’ve heard so many times that we are more alike than we are different. This is good news to me as I begin at a new school district. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I certainly, without a doubt, fit in with the teacher crowd. How did I come to this conclusion??

Teacher talk. I know I’ve mentioned this many times, but it’s true. Teachers love to talk about teaching. One time I was at Panera Bread when I overheard a group of teachers say, “Okay, I have one more school thing to talk about and then we are done.” Do you think it ended there? Absolutely not. And I love it… every moment of teacher talk… every opinion about standards and benchmarks matters to me. Keep on talking teachers!

Payday. More than anyone I have met, teachers look forward to payday. Growing up with parents that both taught, I knew that payday was the 20^th of each month. In other words, I knew to wait until after before asking for the latest brand name jeans. Pretty sneaky!

Soda and snacks. Teachers love soda. Diet Pepsi and Dew go down like water around a school. Pair that up with peanut M&Ms and you have a school full of smiling teachers.

Needless to say, I fit right in here. 

It's Complicated

Yesterday marked my first official day of student teaching. Yippee! The first couple of days are filled with meetings and hours of teacher talk. I’m sure my brain will be completely fried by the end of the week. But, I’m not scared… bring it!

While there is a lot of information that comes and goes when learning a new job, every once and a while words stick. I’m a “word person,” so this happens quite often to me. My mom taught me the importance of writing everything down, so I was sure to have a paper and pen handy.

So, what did I hear? The principal showed this Calvin and Hobbes comic strip:

He followed up by saying, “We should be complicating the lives of our students.”

Can I just be the first to say, I… Love… This… Statement… Our job as teachers is to make the students think so hard their brains pop out of their heads (maybe a little graphic). They should go home contemplating thoughts heard in class and passages from books. Teenagers may already feel complicated, but my job as a teacher is to stir this up even more. Watch out, guys. Life is going to get really complicated from here on out. Ready, set, go!

Switching Gears

‘Tis the season for back-to-school shopping. Nearly every other commercial is advertising slacks, backpacks, and shoes. The kids on TV seem so excited to get back in the swing of things. I have a hard time believing they are all rushing to Old Navy to buy polos with their moms. We all know they are still biking around the neighborhood and playing wiffle ball.

I have been doing a little bit of back-to-school shopping myself. However, this year it looks a little different. Instead of skinny jeans and off the shoulder tops from Urban Outfitters, it’s editor pants and button up shirts from Express. Which means: not as much fun. That’s right people, I’m a grown-up. 

The good news is that I’m not quite as excited for these shopping trips. Why is that good news? Well, I don’t spend as much time putzing around the mall, searching for unnecessary items. Ugh. I don’t even like calling them unnecessary because I love those mall trips. Or Target trips. Or anywhere trips. Grown-ups are really deprived of the great sport of random shopping.

So, here goes nothing. I’m switching gears, heading on over to the world of grown-ups. 

Silence is Golden

Do you ever find yourself glaring at everyone in sight? I swear I’m not an awful person. It’s just sometimes people are too much. There is constant noise all around. The need for constant connection to everyone is absurd.

I am just as guilty as the next in seeking this noise. I have music going or the TV on because somewhere along the way I found silence to be deafening.

I’m here to tell you today that I’ve changed my mind. I, Anna Jane Nelson, love silence. I love turning my radio off in the car. I love sitting outside without distractions. I love cleaning my room without turning on Pandora. I especially love restaurants without crying babies (I’m just saying).

I like to be alone with my thoughts. Because, trust me, I have a lot of things going on in this brain. A lot.

Today, silence is golden. So leave me alone. 

Time to Hit the Books

I've mentioned before that this semester will be dedicated to my student teaching. I spend eight weeks at two different school districts. I am in charge of preparing and teaching lesson plans based on the specific curriculum of the school and teacher. In other words, I'm going to be a teacher this semester. Just as Rafiki says in The Lion King, "It is time."

It's all pretty overwhelming, because I'm not really sure what direction I need to be taking. The good thing is that I am confident in myself and my cooperating teachers. I am ready to learn and develop my own style. Lots of prayer will be necessary in the upcoming months :-)

School will be on full force next week. Where did the summer go? Soon enough, I will be laying out my outfits each night and crashing before 9:00 p.m. Don't even think I will feel bad about that... I love going to bed early.

It is important for me to document any teaching ideas and feelings that I have each day throughout my student teaching experience. I plan to use my blog every once in a while to do just that. Don't get me wrong, I will not bore you to pieces will school jargon and teacher talk. I will continue to add silly stories and random thoughts that pop into this crazy little head of mine.

I'm up early... again... thinking.... too much... looks like it's time for me to hit the books.

Seeking Normalcy

If anyone out there has some normalcy to spare, I wouldn't mind a piece of it. I love being around people and having constant activities in my life; however, I also thoroughly enjoy the idea of normalcy . I have been bee-boppin' around for the entire summer. There are plenty of great memories and laughs to show for it, but I'm seeking a routine... ASAP.

I know what you're thinking. "She's supposed to be a balanced banana." Well, I'm just not feeling it right now. So, as of this second I'm ready to turn it around.

Hello, balance. It's me, Anna. I know it's been a while, but I'm ready to be friends again.

Wish me luck :-)

Save a Horse, Ride a Bike

I am proud to call myself a cycler, biker, spinning queen! About a year and a half ago, I purchased a new Trek Hybrid. I was one happy lady after saving up my money that I made over spring break.

There are many good reasons to bike. Of course people choose to bike to work, which is another way to "go green". It is also a great cardio exercise that helps keep those leg muscles in place :-) But, my favorite part of biking is the community it brings.

Biking is like joining the best cult around. It's as if bikers have secret codes that separate them from the rest of the universe. Car back. Shaking your hand to avoid the rumbles. These types of things.

I am also proud to say that I am a part of a community that recognizes this beautiful cult.

If you feel like an outsider, find a biker. Join us, and share the road.

The Shirt Off My Back

When I venture back to my hometown, I pack pretty light. Any hair products and certain clothing items can be found after digging through my sister's things. Thanks buddy :-)

Each time I dip my hand into her t-shirt drawer I pull out one I've never seen before. As some of you may remember, high schoolers need a shirt to represent each event and/or activity they have ever been a part of. Basketball camp. School play. Mock trial. What's next? "I attended lunch in the cafeteria"??

Another thing about these shirts: they are loud. I'm not talking sound loud, I'm talking color loud. They can't just go for the basic white or even gray, it has to be neon green or hot pink. When those teenagers walk in, they want to be heard and seen. They are the greatest attention-seekers on the planet.

The back of these lovely shirts almost always have a saying. This is what separates the group and makes them special. How do they do that? Slap on an inside joke that no one else understands. "Oh Nelly." "Aaah Yeah." "Not In Our House." "Unicorn Princess." And the list goes on....

It may sound like I find this to be quite ridiculous; however, this is not the case. I love every moment of it. The unity these shirts bring tell us all that they would give each other the shirt off their backs.

Suck It Up

I'm a lover of a quality coming-of-age story. So when Stand By Me was on TV yesterday, I couldn't pass it up. I'm a sucker for one-liners and "boys being boys."

Speaking of sucker, there is a scene in the movie where they boys are "farting around" in the creek. It doesn't take long before they are covered in leeches. It's impossible to watch without cringing. Yuck!

Lucky for all of you, I have a similar story. When I was young, my neighbor friends and I would go wading in Squaw Creek. We would make up stories and play pretend. The summer days would pass by quickly as our imaginations ran wild.

One hot summer day, Katherine, Lindsey and I were splashing around in the rocks to cool off. Our floral, pink suits were covered in dirt and mud. Moms understood it was impossible to stay clean down at the creek. So, it wasn't unusual to see three clumps of mud on my leg.

"Gross, Anna, there's mud all over you!" I responded by pushing of the mud from my leg... or so I thought. The darn stuff wouldn't come off. It was stuck.

That's when the screams started. Or should I say screeching. Sure enough, there were three leeches stuck to my leg. But don't you worry, I peeled those suckers right off one by one. Sometimes you've just got to learn to suck it up.

(Not So) Happy Feet

Well, it's official! My Katrina is a married woman! Woohoo! It was a wonderful day that lasted into the night. No one could have asked for a better time. I am so thrilled for the special couple!

On Friday night, we headed to main street to begin our celebrations. My shoe of choice for the evening?

Jessica Simpson Pumps. These hot mamas.

There are not too many occasions to wear these sexy pumps, so I jump at any occasion to slip into these babies. I feel like a totally different lady when there are on my feet. They are my "happy feet" shoes. If only I could wear them to the gym.

Next up on my shoe list for the weekend....

Kenneth Cole Reaction. Sleek and Sexy.

The bridesmaids' feet were all snug in these silver heels. The back has elastic which makes for easy walking... and dancing! These were both selling points for a long day of festivities.

Now for the truth. I love wearing pumps and heels. There is something about standing up a little taller that gives an extra confidence boost. Also, have you seen what these shoes do to your calves? Whoa mama. I love it! But, unfortunately by the end of the second first evening my dogs were barking. While I do believe that now more than ever shoes makers focus on comfort, feet are just not made to be positioned like that.

Needless to say, I'm a hurtin' unit this morning. My calves are sore... along with every other part of my body. I surely have some not so happy feet.

Adrenaline Rush

"Should we turn the air on?" There is that awkward temperature that is difficult to decide. Once one person in my family started to feel uncomfortable, that air came on. Or should I say "kicked on." 

Just as I waited for that air to kick on, I'm laying here waiting for my adrenaline to kick on. After only sleeping about 4-5 hours last night, I am proud to say that my friends and I are celebrating my best friend Katherine's wedding day. That's right people, my long-time buddy will be marrying Adam today! 

I am so excited! Who needs sleep when we have the rush of fun and celebration! Congrats to the wonderful couple!

Time to get ready! 

P.S. Can I wear a sports bra under my dress??

Stick it to 'Em

We all know the best part of a to-do list is checking each item off one by one. Sometimes I add completed tasks to my lists just so I can cross them off with a big black Sharpie. Oh how I love office supplies.

I find myself purchasing post-it notes of all different colors, shapes, and sizes. I stick them all over my planner, desk, and even my dashboard. There are so many lists and quotes that cannot be forgotten, and what better way to be reminded?

The best part about these little sticky pieces of paper is the variety. I mean there are tabs, flags, labels… you name it, Post-it’s already thought of it. Dispensers for every style, including hearts and apples. Not to mention gel pens with cute little sticky flags coming out of the top. There are even easel pads that work perfectly for busy people giving busy meetings to their busy clients. Yes, Post-its are classic.

And yet this brand has taken these little babies a step further. They have entered the world of technology. Digital notes can be used for bookmarking, commenting, and Web-tagging. If you don’t know what these terms mean… Google 'em.

Warning: Post-it notes may be stickier than they appear. 

Protect Your Noodle

I’m not a huge motorcycle, Harley, scooter, hog (whatever you tough guys call ‘em) fan. I’m not sure I will ever fully understand the rush people get as they cruise around in the leather chaps and bandannas. And to all of the Harley fans out there, orange and black just aren’t the best color combination for my skin tone.

What really floors me are those tough hoodlums that are “too cool” for helmets. Do you realize how ridiculous you look without a helmet? Let’s look at this from a logical standpoint. Traveling at the speed of 70 mph with fast-moving pavement only inches from your toes is kind of crazy. I know those toes may be protected by sweet leather boots, but that doesn’t make it right. If fact, it’s all wrong.

I don’t want to seem like the protective mother here, but how can you use your noodle if you don’t have a noodle?

While I’m on this lovely tangent, I would like to include bikers (as in bicycle riders). I know that I am not always pedaling at record-breaking speeds, but I still snap on that trusty helmet.

Next time you hit the pavement with two-wheel transportation, consider protecting your noodle. 

I've Got The Blues-Berries

My strange addiction as of late can be explained in one word: blueberries. I've been putting them on nearly every thing I eat. Yogurt, cottage cheese, ice cream. Pretty soon I will be placing those little guys on my turkey sandwiches (not a bad idea actually). 

Lucky for me, there are a lot of health benefits that come from blueberries. Such as...

Brain power! Blueberries help in keeping the brain as sharp as a whistle. And let's be honest, at the end of the summer this is highly important. Parents should be shoveling them into their kids' mouths. Hey, we need all the help we can get.

Anti-aging. In a culture that is age-obsessed, this is very good news. I mean I was giving anti-aging lotion at the age of sixteen. They should have just rubbed blueberries all over my face at the Clinique counter. If only they knew that blueberries are full on anti-oxidents that aid in smoothing out the skin's pigmentation. Bring on the berries!

Stuff down there. Without going into detail, blueberries help reduce urinary track infections. The fiber also improved digestion. Enough said... moving on...

Happiness. All of these health benefits (and so much more) create happy people. With a healthy body and sharp mind, it's hard to not feel great! 

So I plan to keep on chowing down on blueberries. Until I look something like this:

Violet clearly has the blues-berries. Make sure you watch your blueberry consumption.

I'll Do It Myself

Part of growing up is learning how to do things on your own. While it may be scary at first, self-reliance is indispensable. Remember the first time without training wheels? Or driving alone in the car at the ripe age of sixteen? Those jerky turns only got smoother with time and practice.

When I was a youngster, I wanted to do it myself. According to my mom’s memory, I thought I was really good at doing my own hair… at the age of 6. I don’t even want to know how many ponytails and ribbons were in my hair when I headed into my first grade classroom. My mom actually apologized to my teacher for my miss-matched style. It’s a good thing my parents are patient, because I wanted to do it myself.

My sister had a similar attitude towards a red Old Navy Performance Fleece. You may remember this catchy commercial…

Well Sarah wore that silly thing every day. And when I say every, I mean every. Mom had to wash it at night while the little one was sleeping. And don’t worry, that fleece completed Sarah's school picture outfit that year too. Eventually she grew out of it, and we bought her a red Old Navy Performance Vest. What a little goober :-)

I’m glad my parents picked their battles with us, because sometimes it’s important that we do it ourselves. 

It's a Clip-On

You think you’ve seen it all. Then they come out with this…

Clip-on bug repellent

Obviously I’m not a fan of bugs, but I’m also not a fan of smelling like bug repellent. It’s possible they have some flowery smelling sprays to keep the bugs away; however, I would still rather smell like Chanel No. 5.

While the smell is something to consider, I think we should turn our attention to the fact that this is a clip-on. Who in their right mind is going to clip but repellent to themselves? It’s like have a Glade Wisp attached to your shirt. Is this necessary?

When did people become so obsessed with clipping objects to themselves? Clip-on earrings, clip-on ties, and my personal favorite, clip-on cell phone holders. Check out a mirror. This looks ridiculous.

So, what’s next? Clip-on Kleenex? Clip-on lip-gloss?  Or how about clip-on deodorant? I mean you never know when you may need these items. There’s no better way to access these than your very own belt buckle.